


Made of Star-Stuff

by Kolivans (arka_r)



Series: MOSSverse [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Blades of Marmora, Communal parenting, Dads of Marmora AU, Dissociation, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fantastic Racism, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Genocide, Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Neurodivergent keith, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secret Organizations, They/Them Pronouns Kolivan, War, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 12:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10513563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arka_r/pseuds/Kolivans
Summary: The headquarters of the Blade of Marmora was not just a military base; it was also a home to refugees. Aliens of all sorts from planets the Empire had destroyed or were occupying lived there.  Secured between the pulling forces of two black holes, protected by the solar flares of a blue supergiant star, the small rocky moon was the safest place to hide from Zarkon’s destructive fleet.Despite this diversity, Keith the half-Galra from Earth always knew that he was different.--Dads of Marmora AU / Blade of Marmora-raised Keith AU. Minor/background relationship tag refers to Thace/Ulaz and Kolivan/Antok.





	1. Little Blade

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, SHOUT OUT to everyone who's been supporting me and this fic: my awesome alpha and betareader [spaceytears](http://spaceytears.tumblr.com/), also an alphareader [coppertellurium](http://coppertellurium.tumblr.com/), everyone else in the shaladin discord. holy heck, this kinda sounds like my thesis intro skdjfhg BUT YOU GUYS ROCK
> 
> secondly, i made up new words for the Empire time measurement units, because i don't think they'll be using a system that's 10,000 years old
> 
>  **canon in-universe units:**  
>  ticks: similar to seconds  
> doboshes: similar to minutes  
> vargas: similar to hours
> 
>  **my original units:**  
>  dral: similar to days (1 dral = 20 vargas)  
> dralis: similar to months (1 dralis = 20 dral)  
> dralsa: similar to years (1 dralsa = 20 dralis = 400 dral)
> 
> there'll be also explanation about galran gender later on so be prepared for that too
> 
> lastly, title is from Carl Sagan's Cosmos:
> 
>  
> 
> _The surface of the Earth is the shore of the cosmic ocean. On this shore we've learned most of what we know. Recently we've waded a little way out, maybe ankle deep, and the water seems inviting. Some part of our being knows this is where we came from. We long to return. And we can. Because the cosmos is also within us. **We're made of star-stuff.** We are a way for the cosmos to know itself._
> 
>  
> 
> i hope you all love this fic ❤
> 
>  
> 
> **-UPDATE JUN 13-**
> 
>  
> 
> due to recent revelation ([explained here](https://hello-my-stars.tumblr.com/post/161770645718/welp-im-done-rewatching-ep-8-13-i-talked)) i'm changing kolivan's pronoun to they/them.
> 
> s3 will likely to set this HC on fire since kolivan seems to play a bigger role but i don't care. lemme have this HC. p l e a s e
> 
> **-UPDATE SEP 04-**
> 
> okay. so several things happened in the last few weeks and **i decided not to put shiro/keith into this series**. like no offense, i still have nothing against sheith, but i don't ship it anymore.
> 
> **instead, this series will be gen with background/minor thace/ulaz and antok/kolivan.**

The headquarters of the Blade of Marmora was not just a military base; it was also a home to refugees. Aliens of all sorts from planets the Empire had destroyed or were occupying lived there.  Secured between the pulling forces of two black holes, protected by the solar flares of a blue supergiant star, the small rocky asteroid was the safest place to hide from Zarkon’s destructive fleet.

 

It was a place where even Galra deserters and hybrids lived side by side with other races from all over the galaxies; Anurans, Veloxians, Draconians, even the Maestro of Axocarium Empire and a few last descendants of Altea. All lived in relative harmony as they worked together to bring down Zarkon and his evil empire. 

 

Despite this diversity, Keith the half-Galra from Earth always knew that he was different.

 

He looked like an Altean, but his ears were round unlike their ears. He was as small as an Anuran, but he couldn’t breathe underwater like they did. The only fur on his body was the hair on the top of his head, dark colored just like an Ursii; but it couldn’t make shapes or turn into deadly weapon like theirs did. He didn’t even have  _ sagittal crests _ , claws, fangs, or even yellow eyes like other Galra hybrids on the base.

 

There was no other ‘Human’ in the base but him.

 

Thace once told him that Earth was a pre-warp planet located in some remote solar system, where the Empire under Zarkon’s rule had very little influence. The Blade of Marmora followed the ancient space-faring code to stay away from pre-warp species until they became more advanced with their technology, but they still kept an eye to their planet in case Zarkon wanted to take it too.

 

Apparently, Keith’s mother was one of the agents who patrolled near the solar system where Earth was located. When they came bringing an odd looking cub back to the headquarters, everyone were shocked that they actually interfered with Earth’s sentient species. Nobody knew what their reasons were and now they were missing and Keith had to live with others who didn’t look like him.

 

Keith didn’t remember what his mother looked like.

 

“They were tall and proud, a true warrior at heart who would do anything within their strength to protect the innocent”, Thace would always say while tucking Keith into bed. “When you were nothing a mere newborn kitten, they took to the stars and never came back.”

 

Keith slept in the Child Ward, in a room with five other kittens and hatchlings of his age. At night-cycle, sometimes some of the parents and guardians would come to cradle their younglings to sleep. There was an Anuran mother who always sang to her grodling to sleep. Sometimes, they pushed the bunks away, spread the blankets on the floor, and told stories about long lost civilizations, so those who had no parents wouldn’t feel left out.

 

Thace would always be there, as far back as Keith could remember, to tuck Keith in and groom him before sleeping. Keith’s bunkmates loved him because his stories were filled with fantastic battles against the Empire, but Keith would rather hear him tell stories about his mother.

 

“If I go to the stars, d’you think I can find Mother?” Keith asked Thace sleepily.

 

Thace was the closest Keith had to a family; he and Keith’s mother had been the closest brothers in arms. They used to be pretty close once, even closer when they joined the Blade of Marmora almost at the same time. Still, apparently Keith’s mother kept a lot of secrets that not even Thace knew about.

 

Thace gave a considering hum, his fingers tracing patterns against Keith’s skull.

 

“I don’t know, kitten”, he looked down, eyes sad. Keith hated seeing Thace sad, so the questions stopped there. 

 

It wasn’t long before he fell asleep to Thace grooming him and purring by his ears.

 

\--

 

On Keith’s fifth name-day, Thace gifted him his mother’s blade in front of the other Blades.

 

It wasn't awakened yet and the grip was too big in Keith's palm. Still, Keith loved it just like he loved all the stories about his mother. He swung the blade around and pretended like he was driving it through Zarkon’s heart, ending his tyrannical reign instantly.

 

“Easy there, little kitten", Leader Kolivan chuckled and held Keith's hand that was holding the blade. “You might hurt someone or yourself with that untrained blade.”

 

“Well, when can I start training?” Keith sheathed his mother’s blade with a pout and put it aside.

 

“Hmm… Why don't you ask Thace about starting your lessons first? Your training can wait until you’re old enough”, Kolivan ruffled Keith's hair. Keith grinned and ran back to where Thace was waiting for him.

 

In the end, Thace and Kolivan agreed to let him begin his lessons. Keith wasn't the only kitten in the class, but he was the youngest and the smallest there, and the most curious.

 

“Why did Zarkon destroy lots of planets?”

“Why is it dangerous to go out of the base?”

“Why do the books say the sky is purple when it's actually black?”

“What are trees? What are flowers? Why are they pretty?”

“What is ocean?”

“Why do the Galra hate water?”

“What happens when people die?”

 

After the last question, his teacher, Maestro Belu, gave up and asked to talk with Thace. Keith didn't understand why he was suddenly being pulled out of the class when he only began attending a few  _ dral  _ ago.

 

“He asks too many questions and none of them are relevant to the lessons”, Maestro Belu pointed at Keith with one of its long appendages. Keith looked up briefly before going back to play with his mother's blade on his lap.

 

“I… don't see how it's a bad thing", Thace almost growled in low tone. “He has a curious mind, I know that, but--”

 

“I have no doubt it is due to his mixed genes”, Maestro Belu made a clicking noise as it looked over Keith's files. “This is why you don't mess around with those pre-warp creatures, let alone mixing your genes to create a stunted halfbreed.”

 

“You watch your mouth!” Thace stood up abruptly, his hackles raised. Keith almost folded into Thace’s side when he heard the protective growl coming from his guardian. He didn't know why Thace was so mad.

 

“Am I wrong, though?” Maestro Belu still refused to back down, the ornamented sphere above its head began to spin furiously. “It is the only reason I can think of for Keith’s inability to focus on his lessons. His underdeveloped brain just can't catch up with our advanced knowledge!”

 

“If Keith really has an underdeveloped brain and yet you still can't teach him, then maybe you're just an awful teacher!” Thace spat, before placing his hand at Keith's shoulder almost too gently. “Come, Keith. If this old bag doesn't think it can teach you anything, then I will do it myself.”

 

They walked out of the Educational Deck. Keith was still fiddling with his mother's blade, still could feel Thace fuming as they headed to the common area.

 

“… Did I do something bad?” Keith finally asked when he couldn't bear the silence any longer.

 

Thace sighed heavily and dropped onto one of the benches by the wall, patting the empty spot next to him. Keith climbed up the bench with little difficulty and snuggled up next to his guardian.

 

“Keith, you were born different, but that doesn't make you bad”, Thace said finally. “People will always look for what's different. But if you want to be a better person, you just have to look for what's the same. Do you understand?”

 

Keith ran over Thace’s words in his head, trying to make sense of them.When he failed, he slowly shook his head.

 

“Give me your hand", Thace told him. Keith obeyed, placing one of his hands in Thace’s bigger hand. “Do you see what's different?”

 

“Well, I'm pink and you're purple…?” Keith still didn't understand what they were doing.

 

“Now look for what's the same. Do you see it?” Thace asked again, slowly spreading his palm.

 

“We… both have five fingers?” Keith asked back, uncertain.

 

“Five fingers, two hands, two feet, two eyes", Thace pulled Keith into his lap and began to comb through his hair. “Humans and Galra have lots of similarities. When we're happy, we laugh. When we're hurt, we cry. When we're killed, we die.”

 

“There's an old Olkarian saying about how we all are made of the same star-stuff. When a star explodes, its quintessence will travel through space and form living beings. You, me, Leader Kolivan, Ulaz, everyone else in the base. Do you understand now, Keith?”

 

Keith pulled his face, still trying to understand how a star could explode. Thace told him before that there was a big blue star outside their base and he didn't think he wanted to know what would happen if that star exploded.

 

“… n-no?” he finally answered, still confused.

 

Thace laughed and ruffled his hair again.

 

“That's okay. Maybe you'll understand when you're older.”

 

Keith pouted. He couldn't wait until he got older. Maybe then things would make more sense.

 

\--

 

True to his words, Thace began teaching Keith himself. He taught him how to read, how to count, to understand science and several other subjects. He answered Keith's questions, no matter how weird they were, even if they were unrelated to the topics he was currently studying. When Thace couldn't do it because he was away doing Blade-related missions, his mate, Ulaz, would take his turn to teach Keith.

 

Ulaz was a Galra too, but he didn't look like Thace at all. He didn't smile as often either. That was okay, because unlike Thace, Ulaz didn't seem to mind when Keith was playing with his mother's blade.

 

“It's your blade now, not your mother's", Ulaz told him. “If you want to be a good swordfighter, you need to think of it as a part of you.”

 

Keith blinked at Ulaz, then stared down at the blade in his hand. He didn't know how to make it a part of him, but slowly he began to refer it as his own blade. He didn’t know if it really made him a better swordfighter, though.

 

“Move your feet apart", Ulaz instructed during their next tutoring session. “Stay on your toes. Keep your balance as you move.”

 

Keith did as Ulaz said, but still Ulaz could easily knock him off his feet.

 

“I can't do this!” Keith cried out after a few rounds of Ulaz knocking him down onto the training mat.

 

“You're not keeping your balance!” Ulaz barked.

 

“Well, maybe I can't do like you told me to because-- because I'm not a Galra like you!” Keith could see his eyes become blurry with tears. He hated this. He hated feeling like he was a dumber, weaker version of a Galra.

 

“You can't do something the first few tries so you blame yourself for not being Galra enough?” Ulaz sounded so confused, but Keith was angry and he hated Ulaz so much right now.

 

“Maybe my underdeveloped body can't do the things you can do or something, I don't know!” Keith scrubbed the tears away furiously.

 

“I see", was all Ulaz said. “Keith, look at me.”

 

Keith wanted to ignore Ulaz out of spite, but he couldn't deny that he was curious too.

 

When he turned his attention back to Ulaz, the Galra was bending his body backward so both his hands and feet were firmly on the floor. Then, in one swift motion, Ulaz was standing only on his hands, then only on his fingers, then only on one of his claw. Then, he sprang forward with ease and he was back on his feet again.

 

“Do you think Thace can do what I just did?” Ulaz asked.

 

Keith blinked. He never saw Thace doing it, but that didn't mean that he couldn't do it. Ulaz made it look so easy, though.

 

“Maybe? I don't know…”

 

“No, he can't", Ulaz huffed. “Not all Galra can do what I can. You can ask him if you don't believe me. You know why?”

 

Keith shook his head.

 

“Because I trained for years to be flexible and Thace didn't. We both are Galra, so why is it that I can do what he can't?” Ulaz asked, but he didn't seem like he wanted Keith's answer. “You don't have to be a full-blooded Galra to become a good swordfighter, you just need to train a lot. Sure, it might be be harder, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.”

 

Keith looked down at his blade. He still didn’t understand about lots of things, but… he wanted to be better. Could he really do this?

 

Slowly, he picked up his blade and stood on his toes, knees bent, legs firmly apart.

 

Ulaz smiled at him. It was the first time Keith saw him smile.

 

\--

 

When Keith thought back on it, despite everything, he always thought he had a pretty happy childhood.

 

He didn’t have a mother. He didn’t have a father. He didn’t know about his home planet, nor did he know if he had one at all. He was weird, he was different. He was too weak, too small, too curious, too loud. He was not Galra enough, not strong enough, not obedient enough, not social enough.

 

Yet… he never minded all those. Sure, words hurt; but he had Thace, always there to heal him, to reassure him that he was enough. It felt like, as long as he had Thace, it was  _ enough _ . The base was his home. He was safe.

 

He was happy.

 

He forgot that there was a war raging across the galaxies outside. Soon he learned the war would take those he loved away from him, whether he wanted it or not.

 

It happened slowly, shortly after Keith's seventh name-day, and Keith barely noticed it. At first, Thace was leaving the base for a  _ dral _ , only to return at the next. Then, one  _ dral  _ became three  _ dral _ , then it became ten  _ dral _ .

 

And then, on Keith's eight name-day, he realized that Thace was barely home at all.

 

During the day-cycle, he still continued his studies and training and playing with Ulaz and Kolivan. At night-cycle, Keith would lie awake hugging his blanket, wondering when Thace would come home. It was hard. Sleep was hard to come by without Thace grooming him or telling him stories about his mother. Keith missed Thace so much.

 

He knew it was silly. Thace was doing important things to help bring down Zarkon. Thace was more needed out there and it wasn’t like Keith was his real family anyway. Still, there was something that made him wishing he could hold Thace back and never let him go. Keith learned about the war from his history lessons and how horrible it was. It seemed easy to forget that whenever Thace was away from home, he was fighting in that very war.

 

“Is there something bothering you, little kitten?” Ulaz asked during Keith’s study session. “You’ve been trying to eat your shirt for a  _ varga  _ now.”

 

Keith let the shirt fall from his mouth.  _ Yes _ , Keith wanted to answer. Where was Thace? Was he okay? What was he doing out there? He’d been away for two  _ dralis  _ now; Keith knew, he  _ counted _ it.

 

Instead, he glumly shook his head. “S’nothing.”

 

“It’s not nothing if it raises your hackles as such”, Ulaz smiled and put down the sheave he was using to teach Keith about the Empire’s history--something about the Third Reformation Era or something. He patted his thigh. “Come here.”

 

Slowly, Keith climbed up to Ulaz’ lap and rested his head on the older Galra’s chest. Ulaz was wearing a soft woolen shirt. It smelled vaguely like Thace.

 

“‘Laz, are you gonna leave me too?” he finally asked. He felt Ulaz stiffen.

 

“Keith…” Ulaz hesitated. “Is this about Thace?”

 

Keith shrugged. He could hear Ulaz silently cursed. He knew it was a bad word, so it surprised Keith to hear it from Ulaz.

 

“Oh Keith, Thace… he didn’t leave you because he wants to”, Ulaz paused. “In fact, he loves you so much, he  _ has  _ to leave you.”

 

“That doesn’t make sense”, Keith sniffled.

 

“Thace left because his work is important. He’s doing it because he has to-- no, he  _ wants _ to end Zarkon’s reign”, Ulaz ruffled Keith’s hair. “So you don’t have to live in fear of Zarkon. Do you understand?”

 

Keith still didn’t understand. He buried his face in Ulaz’ shirt--it was  _ Thace’s  _ shirt, Keith realized now.

 

“Why does it have to be him? Why not the other Blade agent?” he asked.

 

“You’d rather it be me to leave?” Ulaz asked.

 

“No, I don’t want you to leave”, Keith shook his head, clutching at Ulaz’ shirt as if to hold him from going away and leave him like Thace did. “But I don’t want Thace to leave, I mean… I don’t want either of you to leave.”

 

Keith felt Ulaz hugging him tighter as if he didn’t want to let him go.

 

“I’m sorry, Keith. We are really sorry…” Ulaz whispered. It was supposed to be reassuring, but Keith felt the complete opposite; it only cemented the fact that Ulaz would be leaving too,  doing whatever mission Kolivan would assign him to. And then Keith would be left alone.

 

No Thace, no Ulaz. Just a weird halfbreed, not quite fitting everywhere.

 

When Thace eventually came home, Keith refused to look at him or talk to him. Keith knew it made Thace hurt and confused, but he just… couldn’t bear the thought that he would be left alone. He knew that Thace would leave again soon; and he might not coming back this time.

 

Eventually, Thace was the one who reached out to him. One night, he waited in Keith’s room in the child ward. He patted at the bed when he saw Keith walk in. Keith had half a mind to sleep with his other bunkmate, but reluctantly walked to where his guardian was waiting.

 

Then, as if nothing happened, Thace began grooming him.

 

Keith was so angry at him, he just shoved Thace away. The older Galra still had enough balance that he didn’t fall over, but it still surprised him enough that he could only stare at Keith. Even so, it didn’t last long. Thace laughed awkwardly.

 

“So you’re too old for bedtime grooming, now?” he was obviously trying to lighten the room, but Keith was in no mood for that.

 

“It’s not--! Don’t-- You left! You’re leaving me!” Keith clutched at the front of his own shirt, fat tears beginning to drop from his cheeks.

 

“Keith, I was--”

 

“I don’t care! Go away! Go away!” Keith shrieked and shoved Thace away with all his might. He knew he was being childish. He knew he was hurting Thace. He knew, he  _ knew _ .

 

Suddenly, he was being picked up and carried away. He kicked and screamed and punched, but Thace was like an impassive wall, his grip unrelenting. It wasn’t fair; stupid full-blooded Galran strength. Keith increased his struggling, his sight blinded by tears and his own rage. Eventually, he felt he was being put down on a soft surface and wrapped in a hug.

 

“I’m sorry, Keith. I’m really sorry…” he heard Thace whispering, feeling him rub circles into his back. Why didn’t Thace and Ulaz get it? Keith didn’t want them to feel sorry. He wanted them to  _ stay _ . Was it really that hard to understand?

 

Or maybe it was  _ him _ who refused to understand. He knew he was being selfish.

 

“Don't leave", Keith begged, sobbing against Thace’s shirt. “Don't leave like Mother.”

 

“I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry, little kitten", Thace sounded downright heartbroken, his voice breaking like he was crying too. Keith hated when Thace was sad, but right now, he felt  _ happy _ that he made Thace sad. It terrified him.

 

“I’m infiltrating Zarkon’s ranks, Keith”, Thace told him once Keith was spent on crying. “It’s an important task to ensure the Blade of Marmora can keep fighting Zarkon. Right now, my rank is not as high as Kolivan expects me to be, so I need to work harder.”

 

It was only then Keith realized that he was in Thace’s quarters. Ulaz was there too, watching both of them but not quite joining them. His gaze met Keith's and he moved closer, making a reassuring trill deep in his throat. Thace pulled Ulaz in his embrace too.

 

“Why does it have to be you?” Keith was still clutching at Thace’s shirt, as if letting him go would make him disappear entirely.

 

“Because I'm the only one who can", Thace ruffled his hair. “The commander I'm assigned to, Commander Prorok, he was my childhood friend. From him, I can gain a lot of important information for the Blade of Marmora.”

 

“I don't like him", Keith decided.

 

Thace actually laughed at that, but it was Ulaz who answered him. “From what Thace told me about him, I don't think anyone ever likes him, kitten.”

 

“I don't like Zarkon either", Keith said spitefully. “After I take the Trial, I'm gonna kill him.”

 

Thace and Ulaz looked at each other, ears drooped low.

 

“That's… quite a resolution", Thace finally said.

 

“But who knows, Keith. Maybe when you take the Trial, we’ll already have defeated Zarkon", Ulaz added, ruffling at Keith's hair. Keith wanted to trust him, but couldn’t.

 

They fell asleep like that, holding close to each other with Keith snuggled safe and comfortable between them. Like an imagery of peace, untouched and untainted by Zarkon. Keith’s little family.

 

They only had a couple of  _ dral  _ together until Thace would leave again. Keith was nothing but determined to be as close as possible to Thace, even if it meant he had to physically latch onto Thace like an oversized Lilium leech. Not even Ulaz could pry him off Thace like this, while Kolivan was wise enough to know a losing battle when he saw one.

 

Thace, though, was just as persistent as his charge.

 

“Kitten, can I have my arm back?” Thace tried for what felt like a billionth times. “I need it to eat. I can’t eat if you’re hugging it like that.”

 

“I can spoon feed you”, Ulaz offered diplomatically.

 

“‘Laz can spoon feed you”, Keith said with such finality that it made Thace huff.

 

“It's more of a matter of pride.”

 

“Shut up and eat. The sooner we're finished here, the sooner we can head down to the playground”, Ulaz said, practical as ever. “Then maybe Keith will be busy enough with the obstacle course he will finally let go of your arm.”

 

Thace’s ears drooped in defeat. Ulaz fed him and Keith both, way too enjoying the whole situation.

 

When Thace finally left, Keith made a silent promise that once he was old enough to join the Blade of Marmora ranks, he would join as a fighter and end Zarkon’s reign. That way, Thace didn’t have to be sent out on dangerous missions again.

 

\--

 

Everyone in the base had their own duties. A little bit after Keith’s ninth name-day, he took a break from his routine to find Kolivan. Keith found them in the Archive, sitting on one corner with Sub-Leader Antok and Maestro Feo.

 

“Koliv-- I mean, Leader Kolivan”, Keith did a perfect salute. Holographic screens bathed the room in purple and Keith could see several mission reports. He looked away from them, knowing that mission reports were supposed to be secret.

 

Kolivan’s companions nodded and left--Antok bent down slightly to give Keith’s hair a ruffle as he walked away, which confused Keith. Before he could do anything else, Kolivan shut off some of the screens and waved at Keith to come closer. They were in Blade’s armor, minus the mask and their blade unstrapped. Their braid was coiled around their neck as usual, with shiny purple beads at its end.

 

“What is it, my boy?” they asked once Keith was close enough, reaching over to tuck Keith’s hair behind his ears.

 

“Is there anything I can do to contribute to the Blade of Marmora? Like duties or something?” Keith asked.

 

“Oh, kitten…” Kolivan looked sad. “You’re still too young to contribute to the Blade. Your duties right now are to study and to play.”

 

“I study”, Keith looked up at Kolivan. He already have an argument prepared. “I read a lot of stuff. It’s just… Thace and Ulaz are barely home now, so I don’t have anything to do.”

 

A realization dawned on Kolivan’s face. Then, they patted their thighs.

 

Keith hesitated a little. He was used with climbing all over Thace or Ulaz, but never Kolivan. The Leader was always kind to him and all younglings at the base. But it seemed a little bit… discourteous to climb to their lap. Especially now that he was no longer a young little kitten, despite what everyone else called him.

 

But then again, Kolivan  _ allowed _ him to do so right now.

 

Slowly, Keith climbed up Kolivan’s leg and placed himself as comfortably as possible. Kolivan carefully combed through Keith’s hair, smoothing out the knots there and making low trilling noises, allowing Keith to relax slightly. In no time, Keith was swinging his legs back and forth. Kolivan was bigger than Thace or Ulaz, stronger too; so Keith shouldn’t be worried if Kolivan couldn’t hold his weight.

 

He looked up at Kolivan briefly, fingers hesitantly hovering over Kolivan’s braid. At Kolivan’s nod, Keith curiously touched the beads at the end of the braid. There were tiny letters engraved on the beads, but it didn’t look Galran.

 

“I think I understand your problem. You’re the only one among your bunkmates who don’t attend classes, aren’t you?” Kolivan asked and Keith looked up once again.

 

“Thace said the teacher was being a jerk to me”, Keith muttered with a pout.

 

Kolivan chortled at that. “Yes, Thace told me about that particular incident. The teacher in question had been removed from its position since, but Thace insisted that he and Ulaz alone would be enough to teach you.” Then, conspiratorially, they added, “You know how persistent Thace can be at times.”

 

“Ulaz said he’s as stubborn as a  _ Hyfue  _ cub”, Keith giggled, legs swinging back and forth.

 

“And if that’s not the truth”, Kolivan sighed. “But that leaves you with your current… ah,  _ situation _ , now isn’t it?”

 

Keith shrugged.

 

He didn’t have any friends, if that was what Kolivan implying. He wasn’t really close to his bunkmates, all of which were either too big or too young for him. It wasn’t that bad before, but with Thace and Ulaz’ absence… it made Keith realize that he didn’t have anything else to do.

 

Matron Raya of the Child Ward simply content to let him do whatever he wanted, as long as he wasn’t disturbing anyone. Mostly, Keith spent his time cooped up in the Archive, reading whatever sheave he could get his hands on. He only left the Archive to eat, practice his stance, or sleep. Even the Archive Keeper, Maestro Sabi, had given up trying to chase him out to play with other younglings a long time ago and gave Keith child-appropriate reading materials.

 

“Well, let’s see then”, Kolivan rubbed their chin. With one hand, they swiped their fingers through on the remaining holographic screens. Keith skimmed at what looked like timetables and supply lists, before averting his eyes. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed to see it, even if Kolivan had technically opened them right in front of him..

 

“Ah, there it is”, Kolivan plucked a file and opened it on a new screen, enlarged it with their fingers so Keith could read.

 

“Supply transport?” Keith asked, confused.

 

“Supplymaster Varkel sometimes enlists youngling to deliver things from one level of the base to another”, Kolivan explained. “You’re tall enough to reach the handle of the antigrav trolley, right?”

 

“I… think so?” Keith never tried it himself, but he saw people taller than him adjusting the trolleys to suit their height better. So maybe it could do the opposite?

 

“You’re still a bit young, so just tell Varkel that you have my approval”, Kolivan picked an unused sheave on their desk and let it scan their genetic print. “Give this sheave to him so he can load your schedule on it.”

 

Keith accepted the sheave as if it was the most important thing in his life. He climbed down from Kolivan’s lap and did another salute, which Kolivan returned.

 

“I won’t let you down, Leader Kolivan”, Keith grinned from ear to ear.

 

“I know you won’t”, Kolivan replied with a prideful smile.

 

Varkel indeed thought that Keith was still too young to do some jobs, but grudgingly accepted the sheave that Kolivan gave him. The Supplymaster told Keith that he would begin the next cycle and that he had to arrive precisely at the eighth  _ varga _ .

 

The transport duty wasn’t hard, as Keith quickly found out, but it was pretty boring. His route was pretty much the same every cycle; rations to the mess hall, medical supplies to the medbay, weapons to the armory, ship parts to the hangar, scraps and wrecks to be recycled in the junkyard. Soon, he knew almost everyone in the base and knew how to use them to his own advantage.

 

Keith suspected that this was what Kolivan planned.

 

He had a love-hate relationship with Matron Marroi from the medbay. She quickly assumed that Humans were frail, weak, and had to be treated with utmost care. She would panic when Keith showed the smallest sign of injury or sickness, and would immediately force Keith to bed rest. Keith didn’t like when people thought he was weak, but it gave him a chance to skip out on his duties when he didn’t feel like doing them.

 

He loved Dahana from the kitchen, though. The young Veloxian thought Keith was too small for her liking— an unfair judgement, since female Veloxians were even bigger than Galra and nobody knew if Keith’s size was a normal Human size. Whenever Keith arrived to deliver things for the kitchen, she would insist Keith to take a break to eat. She would hand-cook him the most delicious things though, things that were rarely served on the daily meals.

 

At first, all five Maestro of Axocarium who worked in the hangar would try their best to keep Keith away from the more dangerous parts of their workshop, but Keith was relentless. Soon, he found out that unlike his old teacher, Maestro Belu, these Axocarians loved it when Keith asked things.

 

Maestro Feo especially would happily answer any questions he asked no matter how weird or obscure. Since the Axocarians were all the best in their field, xir answers were always enough to satisfy Keith’s curiosity and still xe would love explaining further.

 

The Axocarians were mechanical species so they didn’t breed, but Maestro Feo adored Keith and his curious mind. Soon, xe kind of adopted him as xir own. When Kolivan found out about it, they arranged that Keith could study science and engineering under their guidance.

 

\--

 

There were no more things for Keith to transport for the cycle, so Keith decided to practice the moves Ulaz taught him in the junkyard.

 

The junkyard keeper was a old Galra named Badim, with graying fur and hunched back. Almost everyone in the base said he used to be a lieutenant in Zarkon’s fleet, but deserted his rank after refusing to kill some child prisoners. Badim loved to tell stories to anyone would listen about how he lost both of his legs and the rest of his sanity at the hands of the Druids, but nobody seemed to believe it. Maybe because he spoke in really weird Galran— people said Galra coming from the faraway borders spoke like that.

 

Nowadays, Badim mostly rambled about his time in the war, about what a madness it was, like a beast with insatiable hunger. He never seemed to mind when Keith was practicing his stance, though his whitish eyes seemed to follow Keith’s moves. It unnerved him a bit, to be honest.

 

“Nice fancy moves, cub”, Badim commented after Keith finished with one particularly hard sequence. “Who taught yah?”

 

“Thace and Ulaz”, Keith answered out of reflex more than anything, before remembering that Badim was senile and more likely wouldn’t know anything about his guardians. “They’re the Blade’s agents?”

 

“Ah see”, Badim rubbed his chin, which surprised Keith more than anything. The old Galra looked more sane than Keith was used to seeing. “Yah dads taught yah be light on yah feets or wait for an op’ning or sum junk like that? Did ey taught yah be fightin’ dirty?”

 

Keith huffed. “No. Should they?” he asked back sarcastically. He didn’t know why he was entertaining the old bag of fleas in the first place.

 

“Ey should”, Badim answered, the sarcasm flew right over his head. The old bag picked up a rusty pipe from the pile of junk all around them and brandished it as if it was a blade. “Come, cub! Attack me!”

 

Keith rolled his eyes, but charged forward. Badim deflected his strike with the rusty pipe at the perfect timing and was striking back with the heel of his palm. Keith landed hard, coughing, but was quickly back on his feet.

 

But Badim was staring over Keith’s shoulder— at the door behind him, his posture straight. “L-leader Kolivan!” he cried out.

 

Kolivan was here? Keith was ready to do a salute, but when Keith turned back, the door was still sealed and Kolivan was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Wh--” He didn’t get a chance to finish, because Badim knocked him back again.

 

“You cheating!” Keith growled.

 

“An’ yah thinks those Empire scums won’t be cheatin’ too? Use yah head, cub!” Badim retorted. “Fight dirty! Bite eyr ears! Throw sand to eyr eyes! Insult eyr moms! Yah be dead if yah won’t.”

 

“That sounds… dishonorable”, Keith slowly stood up, rubbing the sore spot on his butt where he landed.

 

“No dishonor in stayin’ alive”, Badim shrugged easily.

 

At the time, Keith was too young to understand the implication of Badim’s words. Looking back, he realized how pitiful the senile old Galra’s life  was; an ex-lieutenant of Zarkon, fallen from grace, now living in a trash heap at the mercy of those who used to be his enemies.

 

Did Kolivan pity Badim? Was that out of kindness they were letting Badim to stay in the Blade of Marmora headquarters? Was that out of cruelty?

 

No dishonor in staying alive, but who would want to live a life like that?

 

\--


	2. Little Blade

On Keith’s tenth name-day, he joined the physical exercise session with other younglings in the base. This was exciting for several reasons. First, it meant it wouldn’t be long until Keith was allowed to join combat training sessions. Second, the exercise was held in the same exercise room where the Trials of Marmora was usually held, up in the Command Deck.

 

The physical exercise session started with obstacle course and maze course. On the first session, they started with obstacle course which would test the younglings’ physical strength, speed, agility, and endurance.

 

The instructor for their class was a Hralkar Galra named Marva, a Blade agent and one of the Blade pilot. She wasn’t quite big as Sub-Leader Antok, but still bigger than Kolivan and quite muscular. She was strict and sometimes would bark insults that were borderline xenophobic in Keith’s opinion.

 

“Come on, little cubs! You run like some spineless, fangless newborns!” Marva yelled to the younglings who were struggling through the obstacle course.

 

“Anurans can’t grow  _ fangs _ , Ma’am!” one of the Anuran  _ grodlings  _ quipped. Keith would’ve laughed at her comment if not for how miserable she looked. Her cheeks were green and puffy from the exertion and she looked a few ticks away from passing out. She and the other Anuran staggered behind everyone else.

 

“If you still have the breath to joke, you have the breath to jump!” Marva apparently heard it.

 

The course was more complicated than he expected, but Keith had an advantage here. Not only he’d been playing on the obstacle course at the playground since childhood, apparently his Human traits gave him extraordinary endurance that both surprised Thace and sent Ulaz into his usual xenobiology rambling.

 

Sure, he didn’t have flexible joints and spine or the righting reflex. He might not be as agile as a full-blooded Galra or as strong as a female Veloxian; he definitely couldn’t grow wings and fly like a Draconian. But he sure could outlast them in a test of endurance.

 

In the end, only five out of thirty of them were able to finish the course; a Draconian named Chahru, a female Veloxian named Rani, an Altean-Galran named Nuala, a full-blooded Galra named Dartok, and Keith— who reached the finish line out of spite and stubbornness. Two Anurans had to be carted off to the medbay for severe dehydration, while the rest were either struggling to climb out of the pit or trying to wriggle out of the traps.

 

“Disappointing”, Marva shook her head at the end of their first lesson. “If you wanna join the Blade ranks, I don’t have much hope for our future.”

 

Keith didn’t think Marva was being fair. Of course those who were lucky enough to be born with physical advantage would excel in physical exercise like this; full-blooded Galra had more physical advantages than halfbreeds like Keith, while Draconians and female Veloxians were just naturally stronger than any of the other races.

 

He didn’t say anything, though. When the session was dismissed, the others were heading to the education deck while Keith prepared to take a quick bath before doing his transport duty.

 

“Keith! Hey, Keith!”

 

Keith saw Chahru, Rani, and Nuala ran towards him. Dartok looked uncertain if he was going to follow the others or to head to the Education Deck by himself.

 

“You finished the obstacle course! That was amazing!” Rani hopped excitedly.

 

“Uh… I… finished last, though”, Keith looked at the group uncertainly. He only knew Rani in passing. They used to be bunkmates before her guardian requested a transfer to a bigger room when she hit her first growth spurt. He knew about Chahru too, due to the fact that they were the only Draconian hatchling in the headquarters.

 

“Yeah, but you finished it! Most of the guys can’t even do it!” Rani took Keith’s hands and clasped them in hers.

 

“Probably because he’s Altean-Galran too”, Nuala said.

 

“He’s got round ears, though”, Dartok added, finally joining the others as his curiosity won out. “And he’s not purple.”

 

Keith winced. This was the reason why he hated mingling with people in the base.

 

“Sorry, I have to go”, he pulled his hands away and escaped the Exercise Deck as fast as his legs could carry him.

 

He ended up hiding in Thace’s room. Thace had given him access to the room before he left. Now that Ulaz was away on the mission too, the room was mostly left unused. Keith would sometimes sleep there whenever he didn’t feel like sleeping in the Child Ward, though it happened very rarely since Matron Raya would actually hunt him down if he didn’t show up past curfew.

 

It took him half a  _ varga  _ to calm himself down, before he finally had the guts to sneak into the bathing room. After he was done cleaning up, he rushed to hangar where Supplymaster Varkel was already waiting for him. Muttering quick apologies, he grabbed a trolley and began sorting through his schedule.

 

The group tried to round him up again during the next few training exercise sessions, though Keith already knew not to linger longer than necessary. He would arrive at the last tick possible and flee the room as soon as the session was dismissed. During the session, he always kept his mind on the course as it got more and more difficult, so it wasn’t hard to ignore them.

 

However, his routine was ruined when he walked to the training session and saw a large crowd of younglings were already present. Standing on the front of the group were Leader Kolivan, Sub-Leader Antok, Chief Fighter Angh, Matron Marroi, Matron Raya, Maestro Feo, and four Blade agents and pilots, including Marva.

 

The younglings, Keith noticed, were coming from all age groups. Lots of them looked starstruck and tried to stand at attention to impress Kolivan, though they all had varying degree of success.

 

Keith was torn between skipping out the session or joining the others. He could tell today’s session would be different, but he really did  _ want _ to impress Kolivan too,  _ okay _ . He didn’t have much choice because Kolivan’s ears perked up, probably from the sound of his footsteps.

 

“Oh, Keith! Come here, my boy”, Kolivan signaled. Immediately, Keith could feel all eyes turned to him. Keith hunched his shoulders at their attention as he walked closer, although he straightened his back once he was in the rows, eyes staring forward. Kolivan, thankfully, didn’t say anything about it.

 

“Today, I’m going to hijack your obstacle course session to teach you the correct course of action you all need to take during red alert situation”, Kolivan began their speech, eyes sweeping the group of younglings.

 

_ I knew it _ , Keith thought, half dismayed-half excited.

 

He already knew what to do during red alert; Thace already  drilled Keith about it because apparently Thace lost him once during a red alert, when he was two or three. Keith didn’t remember at all about the incident, but Thace swore it gave him white streaks in his fur. So Thace was determined to teach him as early as possible what to do during red alert, what to do if he was captured by the Empire— things like that.

 

However, this time, Kolivan would be running the drill so the situation would feel as real as possible. While Keith hated attracting attention from other younglings, it would be great if he could prove himself to Kolivan and prove Thace’s extra teachings worthwhile.

 

The adults began by splitting the younglings into ten groups, with twenty younglings and an adult in each group. This was already complicated enough with exactly two hundred younglings in the exercise room, but it was made even more difficult since most of them were fighting over who would be in Leader Kolivan’s group or Sup-Leader Antok’s group. There was  _ chaos _ . 

 

In the end, Kolivan had to randomly select the younglings themself, chuckling amusedly the whole time and completely unaware of the dejected expressions of those who didn’t get selected. Maybe Kolivan noticed, Keith didn’t know and didn’t want to know. It didn’t really matter since he was picked for Kolivan’s group anyway.

 

In his group, there were eight Galra, five Veloxians, three Ursii, two Anurans, and one Balmeran. Only five of them were older than Keith. One of the Anuran  _ grodlings  _ was barely old enough to walk while the other was hard-of-hearing. Two of the Galra had physical disabilities and all of the Veloxians were male. Male Veloxians were physically smaller and weaker than their female counterparts.

 

Keith belatedly realized that his group had the most disadvantages when compared to the other groups.

 

“Before we start, let’s discuss the basic protocols during a red alert”, Kolivan began. “Can anyone tell me what they are?”

 

That was easy. Keith’s hand shot up but he wasn’t the only one, a couple of older younglings who already had red alert drills before were raising their hands too.

 

“Keith, can you tell me what the basic protocols are?” Kolivan turned to him.

 

Keith bit his lip before answering, “First of all, do not panic. Follow the adults and don’t break off from the group. In case you get separated, the lines on the floor will show you the way to the hangar.”

 

Thace explained that the red alert would be raised when an Empire ship was spotted within the scanning distance. The ship wouldn’t come closer to the binary black hole, but sometimes they would be doing regular scans on the area. There should always be enough time for everyone in the headquarters to get into evacuation ships before the Empire ship was done scanning.

 

Most of the times, the scan wouldn’t work due to the interference from the binary black hole and the Empire ship would leave the area, but everyone in the headquarters had to be ready for attack anyway. If there ever was an actual attack, the headquarters would launch the Arbalesters first to distract the Empire ship, so the evacuation ships could hyper-jump away to safety.

 

“Very good”, Kolivan praised. “The headquarters has marking lines on the floor that will light up during red alert. Just as Keith said, follow them to get to the hangar. But that’s not all, is it? Who can tell me the other protocols?”

 

Keith blinked. Was there… anything that he forgot to mention? No, that couldn’t be right --that was all that Thace taught him; don’t panic, be calm, and follow the adults or the glowy lines. Unless… Thace forgot to mention something else?

 

“If the red alert happens when you’re in the bunk and you are able-bodied, you may need to help your bunkmate who is disabled”, one of the Galra from the older age group answered. 

 

“Very good, Pallax. Some of you may notice that your bunkmates are arranged so that you have at least the same amount of able-bodied and disabled younglings in one ward”, Kolivan said with a nod. “Although in case you are unable to help your bunkmates, you need to alert the Matron or other adults.”

 

Huh… Keith hadn’t noticed that. Nobody pointed it to him either, not even Thace or Ulaz. Could it be because they thought he wouldn’t be strong or capable enough to help his bunkmates? Keith bowed his head as Kolivan continued their questioning.

 

Eventually, each adult brought their group to different areas in the headquarters. Kolivan brought their own group up to the Archive where all of them were waiting in nervousness. Maestro Sabi handed the younglings snack pouches while they waited. Keith was tempted to take out a sheave and began reading to calm himself down, but he supposed the drill would start too soon to make it worth it.

 

Just as he thought, the siren began to blare and the lights turned bright purple-red. Lines on the floor began to glow the same color, showing them the way to the hangar.

 

“Come now, don’t panic”, Kolivan said, gathering the younglings. One of the biggest Ursii carried the youngest Anuran  _ grodling  _ and Keith helped one of the disabled Galra into her wheelchair. Together, they all walked in a tight line.

 

Everything felt so real, it was scary. The purple-red lights gave different feel than the usual blue light, reminding Keith of the color of the Empire banner. It made everything look even more terrifying, as if there was an actual Empire ship outside. The youngest Galra kitten in their group clutched at Kolivan’s cloak in fear, her eyes wide.

 

“Koliv-- I mean, Leader Kolivan?” Keith tugged Kolivan’s cloak once they were in the elevator. “What happens if the Empire ship attacks before we all can evacuate?”

 

“The Arbalesters will distract the ship until everyone gets into the evacuation ships”, Kolivan replied with a reassuring smile.

 

“Yeah, but… what if it still attacks the headquarters? Even with the gravitational lensing from the black holes, the solar flare, and the Arbalesters?” Keith looked up to the older Galra. “What if Zarkon is sending lots of Doombringers to attack the headquarters? What if they’re able to calculate around the gravitational lensing from the black holes and use their ion cannons to attack us? What if Zarkon himself is coming?”

 

Everyone were staring up at Kolivan now. The youngest Galra kitten began to whimper. Kolivan crouched down and gathered the younglings in their big arms.

 

“The headquarters is equipped with the strongest particle barrier, stronger than any Empirium-standard barrier. It may not hold Zarkon’s main fleet off forever, but it will be enough to get you all evacuated to safety”, Kolivan said, their voice firm. “The Blade of Marmora will do everything within our strength to protect you all, even if it means sacrificing our lives.”

 

At Kolivan’s answer, Keith looked down and tried not to cry. Why did the adults always talk about how they would sacrifice themselves? It didn’t make sense to Keith. If all the adults died sacrificing themselves, then who would take care of the younglings?

 

When the elevator stopped, Kolivan guided their group to the hangar where twenty evacuation ships were parked. The ships were an original design by the Maestro so they were not Empirium-standard. They were small enough to pierce through the solar flare and strong enough not to get pulled by the black holes. The particle barrier could withstand both the solar flare and ion cannons, and they were also equipped with hyper-drive generators.

 

The drill ended and the adults took the younglings up to the Common Deck for meals, but Keith still felt uneasy. He glanced back to where Kolivan was standing with Chief Angh and Chahru; the two Draconians looked serious as they talked and Kolivan listened to them intently.

 

Keith escaped the hangar and told Matron Marroi that he wasn’t feeling well. Immediately, she fussed at him and took him to the Medbay where he was told to rest. While Matron Marroi ranted about how the drill gave him unnecessary stress, Keith curled on the cot, wishing that Zarkon would die soon so they didn’t have to always live in fear.

 

That was a wishful thinking, Keith thought.

 

\--

 

The next few  _ dral _ , Keith spent his routine feeling like he was walking through a dream. He attended his training sessions, did his duties, and studied with the Maestro; but the whole thing felt weird for him. Everyone and everything seemed to annoy him. Marva’s comments about his lack of strength grated on his nerves even more than usual.

 

The younglings in his physical exercise group were still trying to round him up after each session, making an obnoxious game of trying to guess his race. Most of the adults already knew about his Human heritage and they weren’t as accepting as Thace or Kolivan. Some of them only saw him as someone born from a pre-warp species, like Maestro Belu did. He didn’t want the younglings know about it too and mocked him. It wasn’t their business, anyway.

 

After several cycles of incessant questioning, Keith  _ punched _ Rani in the face so she would shut up already. He broke his knuckles from hitting her scales, but at least he managed to break one of her front teeth. It wouldn’t grow back, so Matron Marroi had to replce it with a fake tooth. She made Keith to stay in the healing pod to fix his knuckles too.

 

Dartok ambushed Keith when he walked out of the Medbay, yelling something about making him pay for hurting Rani; so Keith punched him too.

 

It was a pretty stupid decision, Keith had to admit, because Dartok was stronger and bigger— but Keith didn’t care. He was  _ angry _ and he wanted to stop feeling so  _ weird _ . In the end, one of the Blade had to separate them both and put them in front of Kolivan.

 

“Explain”, Kolivan growled. 

 

Keith looked up through his bangs. Kolivan looked tired more than angry and that was all he needed to feel like a jerk. Kolivan already had so much to worry about; a whole organization who relied on their commands, for all of their safety and survival. They definitely didn’t need  two Galra kittens who couldn’t hold their tempers to worry about.

 

“Keith hit Rani and broke her tooth”, Dartok replied first, before remembering his manners. “ _ Sir _ .”

 

“Keith?” Kolivan turned to him. Keith wanted to shrink and disappear, but he steeled himself.

 

“Rani keeps making annoying guesses about what species I am, Sir”, he replied, proud that his voice didn’t shake.

 

Kolivan let out a noise between a sigh and a growl as they massaged their temple. 

 

“Conflicts are unavoidable with so many beings from different cultures, but never forget that we are all here for the same reason”, Kolivan said. “Zarkon doesn’t care if you are warp-capable beings or pre-warp beings. He doesn’t care if you’re full-Galra, half-Galra, or not Galra. That’s why we are stronger together.”

 

From the corner of his eye, Keith could see Dartok bowing his head. Keith pouted, but did the same.

 

“Both of you will do mess hall duty for three  _ dral _ . During those times, Dartok, you are not allowed to access the Playground. Keith, you’re not allowed in the Archive”, Kolivan ordered. “You  _ will _ learn to work out these differences. I will speak to Rani too. Dismissed.”

 

Dartok stomped out of the Command Room. Keith moved to follow, but Kolivan called him. “Not you, Keith.”

 

Pouting, Keith turned back on his heels, refusing to meet Kolivan’s eyes.

 

“Maestro Feo informed me that you’re not paying attention to your lessons. Is there something on your mind?” Kolivan’s voice was stern, but Keith could hear a hint of worry in there.

 

There was  _ definitely _ a lot on his mind, but Keith didn’t even know where to begin. Everything was so confusing and weird. Nothing was making sense anymore. The war didn’t make  _ sense _ , but his life seemed to revolve around it anyway. The adults around him promised that they would be safe in the headquarters, but then they made him do red alert drills and taught him what to do if he got captured. It felt like the opposite of  _ safe _ .

 

“No, Leader Kolivan. I promise I’ll do better”, Keith replied instead, glaring at his toes.

 

He could hear Kolivan sigh and felt his stomach twist at the disappointment in Kolivan’s voice.

 

“If you say so, then. Dismissed.”

 

Keith was halfway to the door when Kolivan spoke again.

 

“Keith, if you have any problem, anything at all, my door is always open for you. You know that, right?”

 

Keith turned briefly, glancing at Kolivan. The Leader looked old like this, sometimes Keith forgot how old Kolivan was, that they’d been fighting this war for a long time, seeing so many deaths. Keith didn’t need to burden Kolivan with his stupid problems.

 

He nodded anyway.

 

\--

 

Mess hall duty, Keith decided, was the  _ worst _ . The only good thing was that Dartok seemed to share his opinion. Their duty was to help Dahana in preparing the food for everyone. Since there were a lot of different species with different needs, food couldn’t be prepared in bulk.

 

For example, the Galra and Draconians were obligate carnivores, but they had very different needs. A Galra would need to eat five times a cycle and their meals absolutely shouldn’t contain plant-based food. Draconians only needed to feed once a  _ dral _ , but their portion was  _ massive _ due to their form-shifting ability. Chief Angh, whose Draconian form was only a little bit smaller than a Doombringer-class battlecruiser, needed at least two thousand kilograms of food per feeding. The feeding needed to take place in the hangar too, since there was no space in the mess hall for Chief Angh to fully transform into their true form.

 

The whole thing was even more complicated in mixed people. Part Altean-Galra people, for example, needed a perfect balance between meat-based meals and plant-based meals, but they had a long list of substances that would poison them. The same also applied to half Veloxian-Galra. The only exception to this, as always, was Keith.

 

Apparently, his Human traits made him  _ very resilient _ to substance that would be harmful to a full-blooded Galra; such as  _ theobromine _ ,  _ caffeine _ , and  _ sulphites _ . Sure, there were certain proteins that could give him an allergic reaction, but it was nothing fatal. At worst, the food would only give him bad stomach pains or rashes.

 

Because of these different needs, each person had their own meal card which contained information about their diet. Then, Dahana, Keith, or Dartok would synthesize the food based on their meal card. If someone lost their meal card or forgot to bring it to the mess hall, they could borrow a meal card from someone with similar dietary needs.

 

It wasn’t advisable, though, since Dahana would lecture the reckless individual about personalized diets, which then would leave Keith and Dartok to attend to everyone else in the line. Which then led to chaos because Dartok was such a stubborn little prick and Keith  _ hated  _ his guts.

 

“He  _ can’t _ eat that!” Keith hissed for the fourth time.

 

“Why not?” Dartok challenged.

 

“Because he’s part-Veloxian!” Keith said with a growl. He realized that he knew more about xenobiology because of Ulaz’ influence, but hadn’t Dartok learned about Veloxian biology on the Education Deck?

 

“He’s also part-Galra, and the Galra  _ can _ eat this!” Dartok growled back, making a movement as if to hand the confused half Veloxian-Galra a bowl full of bright blue soup. Keith held back Dartok’s arm. He wasn’t going to let this stupid thick-skulled Galra accidentally poison someone, not on the first  _ dral _ of their punishment.

 

“Don’t you dare, or I’ll--”

 

“Or you’ll what? Tell your non-Galra parent? You weird pre-warp--”

 

With a yell, Keith grabbed the bowl and flung it at Dartok. The thick soup landed in the fur on Dartok’s chest with a disgusting splat, before sliding down into his clothes. Keith ignored the surprised gasps coming from the line.

 

“My fur!” Dartok cried out. “That’s it!”

 

Dartok lunged at Keith, who could see the attack before it was coming at him. Dartok might be bigger and stronger than him, but Keith had proper fight training from Thace and Ulaz. Keith used his smaller stature to duck and dodge Dartok’s wild flailing, which apparently made Dartok even angrier.

 

Keith was ready to strike back when suddenly a strong hand scruffed the back of his neck.

 

Dahana was  _ furious _ . The fact alone was  _ terrifying _ to Keith, since Dahana was usually cheerful, if a bit passionate about healthy food. Right now, her face had turned an angry shade of green and her neck frill had fully expanded.

 

“I  _ swear _ to Mother Tree I can’t let you two out of my sight for even a tick!” she hissed. She scruffed Keith on one hand and Dartok on another. The scruffing did nothing to Keith, but it still made him scared. On the opposite, Dartok had gone completely limp and pale in Dahana’s grip.

 

“Leader Kolivan asked me  _ nicely _ to make you two get along, but turns out you can’t even stand next to each other without destroying  _ my  _ kitchen!” she continued as she carried both of them out of the mess hall.

 

Keith glared back at Dahana. “Wasn’t my fault that Dartok is being a stupid bag of--”

 

“ _ My _ fault?! You’re the one who threw the soup on my fur, you little--”

 

“ _ QUIET! _ ” Dahana roared, dumping both of them on the floor, next to two antigrav trolleys loaded with humongous slabs of meat. “Now you two better deliver this to Chief Angh and you  _ better _ deliver it  _ undamaged! _ ”

 

With a slam, Dahana shut the door to the mess hall in their faces, leaving both younglings out in the hallway. Slowly, Keith picked himself up from the floor and set up one of the trolleys so it would match his height. At least he was used to delivering things. He never had to use two trolleys at the same time though. Oh well… he could at least try.

 

“What is this thing? It’s so  _ smelly _ ”, Dartok was standing too, one claw moving as if to prod into the meat. Keith smacked his hand away.

 

“It’s Bakku meat. At least, synthesized Bakku meat”, Keith replied. Dartok stared at him, confused, making Keith sigh. “Bakku? A giant serpentine monster, moving from planet to planet to feed off its inhabitants? Prey species to Draconians?”

 

“Yikes. It looks disgusting”, Dartok still tried to prod the meat.

 

Keith sighed. “It’s  _ highly poisonous _ to Galra.”

 

Dartok stopped, eyes wide as if to determine if Keith was lying to him or not. Keith just shrugged. Well, if Dartok wanted to get poisoned by poking a random meat, then it wasn’t his problem, right? Except… Kolivan probably would blame him for Dartok’s stupidity anyway.

 

Keith growled under his breath as he put his gloves on. The hangar was two levels down from the mess hall, but the elevator would be occupied by people going to the mess hall around this  _ varga _ , so they had to use the old one for the cargo.

 

He turned to Dartok. “Are you going to help me or not?”

 

Dartok rolled his eyes, but moved to grab the other trolley…  _ without  _ adjusting it first. Just as Keith expected, it began to float higher than both of them could reach. Keith already anticipated this and grabbed the handle before it could float off to the ceiling. Fiddling with the panel, he adjusted the trolley until it was on Dartok’s height.

 

“There. Are you always this stupid?”

 

“I’m not stupid!” Dartok puffed his chest fur. “My Dad was noble-born until Zarkon branded him a traitor!”

 

Like Keith cared for that. At least Dartok still looked Galran and his father probably could have brought him anywhere he wanted within the Empire’s territory before the whole traitor thing. Thace couldn’t even bring Keith to a  _ damned _ space mall without raising questions as to why someone of Thace’s rank in the military would foster a non-Galra bastard.

 

To make things even worse, Keith couldn’t send Thace transmissions or gifts for his name-day. As far as the Empire was concerned, Thace didn’t have an undocumented half-Galra as a son.

 

Bristling, Keith began to move the trolley. Dartok followed him quietly, although the silence didn’t last long.

 

“I can’t believe Chahru eats this thing”, Dartok chuckled.

 

“Well, they don’t. Chahru is a Draconian hatchling. Draconian hatchlings eat Apali meat”, Keith explained with a sigh. “Draconian juveniles like Chief Angh are over than five hundred years old. They eat Bakku. When they reach full maturity, which would be over one thousand years old, they eat Weblum and Yugra.”

 

Keith didn’t know why he was explaining this thing to Dartok, but it was pretty funny seeing the horrified expression on Dartok’s face. At least Dartok knew about Weblums and Yugras. Maybe now would be the perfect time to mention the fact that the Draconians were not, in fact, an  _ apex predator _ .

 

“There’s also a species called Ananta, and they eat Draconian juveniles. Oh, there’s the Balmeras and Gigantes too”, he mentioned. Of course, he didn’t mention that those three species were supposed to be extinct for centuries.

 

“You’re messing with me”, Dartok really looked terrified right then. “There’s  _ no way _ something can grow  _ that _ big! You’re messing with me, right?!”

 

With a shrug, Keith pushed his trolley into the cargo elevator. Dartok followed, but his ears drooped low as if he was expecting one of those mighty predators to just come to the headquarters right that instant. Keith wondered if it would be worth it to use his xenobiology lessons to mess with Dartok from now on, so he and his small group of friends would leave Keith alone.

 

When they reached the hangar, Chief Angh was not there yet. One of the Pilots told Keith that they were giving Chahru a flight lesson, so Keith decided to wait. His own transport duty would begin soon anyway.

 

Keith plopped down next to the trolley and took out his sheave. He was supposed to finish reading about Anuran culture before today’s lesson, but it was so boring. Math and xenobiology were more interesting to him, but Maestro Feo insisted that xe would be quizzing him about it.

 

He only got to the fourth page when the hangar door opened and Chief Angh smoothly flew through the barrier, completely unaffected by a solar flare from the blue giant. Keith was immediately on his feet, staring  wide-eyed up at the majestic Draconian.

 

It was the first time Keith saw an actual Draconian in their true form. Draconians were humongous eight-legged serpentine creatures with a single horn protruding from their nose and a pair of wings growing from their scaley backs. They had sharp spikes growing from the top of their head and down to the tip of their tail. Some of them could apparently shapeshift into a smaller anthropomorphic form with four limbs and no wings.

 

Once upon a time, before Zarkon took reign of the Known Universe, the Ancient Draconians could reach sizes even larger than any Yugra or Weblum. Their scales were considered one of the hardest materials in the universe, so Zarkon made it his mission to hunt them down and farm their scales to build his fleet. According to stories, it took a whole fleet of twenty Doombringer-class battlecruisers to take down a single Ancient Draconian. Now, there were only a few of them left.

 

Chief Angh’s scales were upon first glance, a deep red like the color of Keith’s blood, but seemed to shift smoothly into Empire-purples and Void-blacks depending on the angle. Their shortest spikes were at least three times Sub-Leader Antok’s height, while the tallest ones were nearly grazing the ceiling. Once fully inside the hangar, Chief Angh took up half the available space with their massive size.

 

When Chief Angh landed, it was so smooth that the ground didn’t even shake, though their curved claws made eerie scraping noises when they touched the metallic flooring. Their wings beat mightily before they folded neatly into their sides, the wind nearly knocking Keith off his feet.

 

In comparison, Chahru flew unsteadily above their progenitor, the movement of their wings erratic and uncoordinated. Eventually, Chahru’s wings gave out and Chief Angh gently caught them with their nose-horn, smoothly lowering them closer to the ground.

 

“Chahru!” Dartok called out, rushing toward both Draconians. Chahru shifted into their anthropomorphic form as they flopped to the floor.

 

While Dartok was busy gushing over his friend, Keith sighed, exasperated heavy on his breath, and pushed both trolleys loaded full of synthesized Bakku meat closer to Chief Angh. Thankfully, Chief Angh seemed to take pity on him. They decided to grab the meat on one of the trolleys by themselves with two of their clawed hands and began to tear into it.

 

Keith stood at attention while Chief Angh ate. They were one of the Chiefs, after all, and the Chiefs were more or less equal to Kolivan as the Head Leader. This seemed to amuse Chief Angh, as they began to make a low rumble that reverberated through the hangar. Keith belatedly realized that Chief Angh was laughing.

 

“You really are Vanor’s child”, they said. Keith’s hands immediately clamped down over his ears— Chief Angh’s voice was so loud!

 

When Keith got past the shock enough to realize what they’d said, recognizing his mother’s name coming from their mouth, he looked up to the glimmering violet eyes and he swore that he could see sadness in them.

 

“You knew my mother…?” he asked. This was the first time someone other than Thace or Kolivan  had referred to Keith’s mother by their name and he was… well, surprised was the best word he could use to describe how he felt. Maybe also confused? Why hadn't Thace or Kolivan told him that Chief Angh had known his mother too?

 

“I do”, Chief Angh replied, but they didn’t bother elaborating further. Keith wanted to question them, but he realized that Dartok and Chahru were still in the hangar— and Chief Angh and wasn’t exactly quiet in this form. He figured it was for the best though, as if he would let those two dig even further into his past and origins, after what their little group had done. 

 

Even so, Keith hated it when adults spoke in riddles. It was so frustrating and annoying. Even if they didn’t mean to, their words always ended up confusing him more. Keith growled under his breath and turned on his heels. Right now, he had his duties to attend to.

 

However, he realized one thing several  _ vargas _ later, when Maestro Feo was questioning him about Anuran Cultural Revolution. Chief Angh had been speaking in a very present manner.

 

Could it be that Keith’s mother was still alive, somewhere out there in the stars?

 

\--


	3. Needs of the Many

On the last  _ dral _ of Keith’s punishment, Rani cut in the meal line, head bowing low and arms clasped in Veloxian greeting, right in front of the counter where Keith was manning the line.

 

“I’m sorry for harassing you about your race. That was very rude of me”, she said, clearly repeating a rehearsed phrase. Keith rolled his eyes.

 

If Rani thought that holding up the line would automatically make him accept her apology, she was really wrong. She and her little group of friends had harassed him for quite a time; if he wasn’t allowed to punch her in the face again, he was  _ allowed _ to be petty, right?

 

Crossing his arms, Keith leaned back and stared up at her. Thace said he was just as stubborn as his mother— let’s see if that was true.

 

It didn’t take long for the adults in the line to grow restless. There were murmurs spreading, too low and too mixed for Keith’s translator to decipher, but the annoyed tones were clear enough. Rani raised her head slightly, cheeks bright green in embarrassment.

 

“You’re not gonna accept my apology, aren’t you?” she asked.

 

“Nope”, Keith answered curtly. He had no reason to do so and he could do this all day if he wanted.

 

Finally, an annoyed Unilu physically removed Rani from the line before handing Keith his meal card. Keith eyed Rani briefly before attending to the Unilu, replicating him a plate of stir fry with chopped bugs in it.

 

“Just my opinion, but I think you’re being too harsh to that girl”, the Unilu pointed his thumb at Rani, just as Keith was handing him the plate. Keith had half a mind to snatch the plate back and shove it in the nosy Unilu’s face, but managed to restrain himself. Barely.

 

“Just my opinion, but I think it’s none of your business, Sir”, Keith glared at the Unilu. He was tired, his legs were killing him, and he just wanted to go back to sleep again. “Next, please.”

 

The Unilu grumbled something rude that Keith ignored. There weren’t that many Unilu in the headquarters, but Keith read quite a lot of Unilu literature about their Space Pirate Era so he was pretty familiar with their creative strings of swearwords. 

 

Keith’s next patron was a smallish Anuran who looked nervous as Keith aggressively accepted her meal card. However, just as Keith moved to synthesize her meal, Dartok got up in his face with a frown.

 

“Why didn’t you accept Rani’s apology?” the full-blooded Galra asked.

 

“Why don’t you attend to your patrons?” Keith gritted his teeth, fists balled tight. He was weighing if it was worth it to punch Dartok  _ again _ in his ugly pointy face or not. On one hand, he really didn’t mind doing mess hall duties on top of his transport duties and his studies. On another hand, he didn’t want to lose any more privileges to access the Archive,  _ okay _ .

 

Dartok opened his mouth again as if about to say something, when Dahana swooped in, glaring warningly at both of them. Dartok froze as if he was expecting another scruffing, so Keith ducked around him to get to the food processor. The rest of his punishment went  _ mostly  _ without conflict.

 

Thankfully, no one else bothered him when Keith finally rejoined the physical exercise session, but he noticed a lot of them staring at him with various level of apprehension.

 

It took Keith exactly five  _ dral _ to realize that apparently, someone found out about how he broke his knuckles and survived--and two more  _ dral  _ to remember his xenobiology lessons that broken bones could be  _ fatal _ to many sentient species. Sometimes it took a few  _ dralis _ for them to mend the bones. Yet, Keith only spent a few ticks in a pod, so a lot of them thought he was immortal or something.

 

Well… Keith could live with that.

 

He went through his cycle as usual; waking up, having the morning meal, practicing his stance, going to the physical exercise sessions, showering, having the evening meal, doing his transport duties, studying with the Maestro, going to sleep, repeat. Sometimes, when Marva cancelled a session or the Maestro took a break from teaching Keith to do their own projects, he would head down to the Archive and read whatever Maestro Sabi would let him read; xenobiology, physics, fiction.

 

It was getting to the point where going through his routine felt almost like a dream. Sometimes he made mistakes when delivering stuff, but everyone just assumed he was tired and sent him off to the Medbay to rest. Even so, he couldn’t really rest. Whenever he was lying down on a bed or a cot, his body ached as if he was being pulled from limb to limb. Sometimes, he woke up sweating and terrified, but couldn’t really remember his dreams.

 

Kolivan still tried to make him talk— and by the stars, sometimes Keith was tempted to spill whatever he was holding up. But then he just… froze up, opening and closing his mouth as he struggled to find words. It was so frustrating that Keith was tempted to fling whatever object he was holding into Kolivan’s face. It was… scary, and he didn’t want to  _ accidentally  _ do that. Eventually, Keith ended up avoiding Kolivan altogether. 

 

So he went through his cycle as usual.

 

A few  _ dralis _ before his twelfth name-day, the red alert blared through the base.

 

One moment, Keith felt like he was floating, too tired to stay awake but still not fully asleep. The next, he was kicking his blanket away and grabbing his blade from under his pillow. He somehow was still coherent enough to know that this was definitely not a drill. Drills normally didn’t take place at the first  _ varga _ where most people were asleep. 

 

When Matron Raya went to wake up his bunkmates, Keith had already pulled  a warm sweater on over his sleepwear. He tucked his blade on his belt and his sheave in his bag, as they were the only two things that mattered to him. By the time his bunkmates were awake, Keith was already fully dressed and helping one of his disabled bunkmates to dress up.

 

Keith was only a few steps away from his room when Rani crashed into him, toppling both of them to the floor.

 

“I can’t find Blava!” she screeched, shaking him in sheer panic. Her neck ruffles were fully expanding though it seemed more in terror than aggression.

 

“Whoa— who?!” Keith tried to pick himself up, but it was kinda hard when he had a panicking female Veloxian on top of him.

 

“Blava! The Anuran  _ grodling  _ from our group, the one with green markings?!” she cried out. “She said she wanted to go to the bathroom, but I can’t find her anywhere! She’s deaf and she’s not usually wearing her hearing aid when she’s going to sleep--she won’t be able to hear the siren!”

 

Damn stars, they didn’t have time for this. But Keith couldn’t just  _ leave _ her. “Okay, listen. First of all, calm your frills! You’re not helping anyone by panicking.”

 

If Keith didn’t know that Veloxians didn’t have a tear ducts, he would have thought that she’d start sobbing that instant. She took several deep breaths. Keith used the moment to push himself off the floor and closer to the wall so they wouldn’t block the evacuation path. He noticed Dartok, Chahru, and Nuala breaking off from their bunkmates to approach them. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Nuala asked, patting Rani’s back consolingly. Keith could feel Dartok glaring at him, but Keith ignored him.

 

“Did you check the bathroom? Is there someplace else she usually goes?” Keith asked Rani.

 

“I- I checked the bathroom, she’s not there”, Rani was wringing her hands. “Usually, w-when she can’t sleep, she a-asked me to accompany her t-to the Observatory. O-or the Mourning Room.”

 

_ Damn _ . The Observatory was on the Education Deck, while the Mourning Room was on the Command Deck. The Education Deck was just one level below the Common Deck where the Child Ward was, but the Command Deck was right on the top of the base.

 

“Let’s just split up. You go to the Observatory and I’ll go check the Mourning Room. We still have enough time to evacuate”, he told Rani. He wished he could reassure people with words just like Kolivan did, because whatever he had in mind didn’t seem to be reassuring enough.

 

What if the Empire ship started attacking? What if they could calculate the correct path to the headquarters? What if there were more Doombringers than the Blade of Marmora fleet could handle? What if it was Zarkon at their door, ready to obliterate them once and for all?

 

“I’m coming with you”, Chahru told Keith. “No offense, Keith, but you’re not exactly the strongest one in our group.”

 

Keith grit his teeth but he had to accept that Chahru was right. “Fine. Let’s go, then.”

 

Rani nodded and disappeared through the crowd, Dartok and Nuala following her. Keith took a deep breath before running as fast as his legs could carry him to the stairwell, Chahru following behind him. He knew that the elevators would be busy carrying everyone to the hangar, so he couldn’t selfishly use one to bring him  _ away _ from it.

 

Chahru shifted into his true form and offered to fly him up to the Command Deck. Keith remembered their shaky flying, but they surprised him when they flew him up the stair shaft almost without trouble. Both of them reached the Command Deck in no time and found it was already deserted. All ready Agents and Pilots were probably already in the Arbalesters, waiting Kolivan’s command to launch at the slightest sign of aggression from whatever Empire ship waiting outside.

 

As both of them rushed to the Mourning Room, Keith’s self-preservation instincts screamed at him for going against the light lines on the floor, but he pushed through. Only a few rooms away to the Mourning Room and it would be over.

 

Both of them finally reached the Mourning Room only to find it empty. Keith’s stomach did a funny flip— on one hand, he was relieved that the Anuran was probably in the Observatory and Rani was coming to get her. On the other hand, there was a small voice whispering in his mind that all was not well, this could be a trap.

 

_ Maybe she she lied to me _ .

 

What if Rani led him to the Command Deck, away from the evacuation line, to get him back for punching her? What if this was all just a petty lie to leave him alone in the headquarters while everyone else were evacuating?

 

A hand landed on his shoulder and Keith nearly pulled out his blade before he realized that it was only Chahru.

 

“Calm down”, they told him. “Like you said, there’s still time.”

 

Swallowing panic that began rising in his chest, Keith took a deep breath. Chahru was right, there was still time for evacuation. Besides, there was no way Rani would lead one of her own friends to danger, right?

 

Not to mention that  _ somebody _ had to notice that the only Draconian hatchling in the base went missing.

 

When they got out of the Mourning Room, Keith saw the door to the elevator was slowly closing. This was probably one of the protocols that he didn’t know about.

 

“No!” Keith cried out, but before he could do anything, Chahru smoothly shifted into their true form.

 

“Hop on!” they yelled. Keith didn’t think twice as he climbed onto their back, slicing his unprotected palm on their spikes.

 

Chahru dashed toward the closing door, but they weren’t fast enough. The door closed shut and their body slammed against it.

 

It didn’t take long for both of them to recover. Keith tried to pry the door open; first with his hands, then with his blade. He only managed to wedge it wide enough for his fingers to get in, but neither of them were strong enough to open it. The door was too thick and the mechanism was too strong. Eventually, both of them had to give up or their fingers would be crushed.

 

Keith wondered if it would be worth it breaking his fingers off just to get to safety, but it was already too late. The door was already sealed shut. Taking a deep breath, he balled his fists and banged the door.

 

“Help! Somebody help! Help us!” he screamed as loud as he could. “Please help! We’re trapped! Please! Somebody!”

 

“Move back!” Chahru told Keith, before they sped down the hallway. Keith’s eyes widened just as he realized what the young Draconian was going to do, before scrambling out of the way. With a strong beat of their wings, Chahru charged to the door and slammed right into it with a loud bang. Keith winced when he heard something crack.

 

“Did it work?” they asked, still looking slightly cross-eyed.

 

Keith turned to the door. There was definitely an indent, but otherwise it was still standing strong and sturdy. 

 

“I’m going to try again”, Chahru said determinedly. That was when Keith noticed with alarm a trickle of purple blood from between the scales on their head.

 

“You’re injured! You’re going to kill yourself!” Keith screeched.

 

“I’m going to be a Draconian warrior! This is nothing”, Chahru growled, taking position to ram the door again. “It’s okay, Keith. I’m going to take you back to safety.”

 

Keith felt his whole body shake with rage. Yet another stupid self-sacrificing idiot, Chahru was no different than Thace, Ulaz, or Kolivan. Keith probably could understand if they were going to save their own scales; heck, he could understand if that was the case, since Chahru was one of the very few Draconians left. But this?

 

“Keith, move away!” the Draconian roared, tail twitching in frustration.

 

“No!” he balled his fists and stood in front of the door. “We’re going to find another way! A way that won’t kill you in the process!”

 

“I told you I’ll be alright, we don’t have time for this!”

 

“No!”

 

Whatever Chahru wanted to say, it was lost when the base began to shake. Keith cried out as he fell to the floor. The Empire was finally attacking the base. They were late. The evacuation ships had probably already hyper-jumped away to safety— at least Keith hoped they had, because he didn’t want to think about the Empire attacking them too.

 

“Keith, move!” Chahru growled, but Keith got up to his feet once again, even as he doubted himself.

 

If Chahru rammed the door again, there would be a chance they would injure themselves fatally from the impact and the door still wouldn’t open. If the Empire destroyed the base, Chahru could at least survive in the vacuum of space, even with the solar flare.

 

Again, the base shook with a thundering noise and a few chunks of rock from the ceiling broke off. Keith barely had time to react when suddenly, Chahru roared and shielded him from the falling rock. It landed at the base of their neck and broke a few spines.

 

Chahru went limp, wings bent oddly— and it was thanks to the hardness of their scales the rock didn’t kill them outright. As the rumbling continued, Keith struggled to pull the unconscious Draconian closer to the wall.

 

Keith hugged his knees to make himself smaller, tears dripping from his eyes. It was his fault. If only he’d insisted that he didn’t need Chahru’s help, they wouldn’t be in this situation. If only Keith had been fast enough to pry the elevator door open, Chahru’s wouldn’t be trapped up here with him.

 

This was it. He was going to die right there, maybe before the barrier finally broke and the base would be sent hurtling into one of the black holes. He wondered if the others made it out of the base safely. He wondered how Thace would react when he found out about Keith’s death. Maybe Kolivan would tell Thace or something.

 

Keith hoped Kolivan would be safe too. He’d been avoiding them for so long and only now was he regretting it. He would never resent Kolivan for not being able to save him because as the Leader, they had other people to prioritize. Keith wondered if Kolivan would grieve for him. He wondered if Thace or Ulaz would.

 

“Ulaz, Thace…” Keith sobbed. He wanted to see Thace once again. It had been too long since he’d seen his guardian. He hugged his blade to his chest— his mother’s blade. “Mom…”

 

If his mother was really out there in the stars, then maybe Keith could finally join her.

 

_ It’s going to be okay _ , Keith told himself as the lights went out and the artificial gravity gave way. As he felt his body slowly floated, he clutched his blade tighter. Then, he heard loud bang coming from the door.

 

He thought he was only imagining it, but there was definitely someone banging the door repeatedly. No— it wasn’t a banging noise, but more like… blaster noises?  _ The Empire sentries _ , Keith realized with horror. He put himself in front of Chahru’s unconscious body, his blade raised before him.

 

Then the door exploded with a loud boom. From the smoke and debris, a familiar figure pushed forward, the glow on the mask and armor like a beacon of hope to him.

 

“Kolivan!” Keith wailed, hands reaching out. 

 

Kolivan dove toward him and pulled him close to their chest. Even through the armor, Keith could feel the way Kolivan’s arms trembled as they held Keith tight, as if they were scared they had lost Keith.

 

“It’s okay, Keith. It’s okay now”, Kolivan said through the mask, their voice shaking while they made soothing noises and nuzzled the top of his head. Keith sobbed louder, clutching at Kolivan’s armor tight as if scared that Kolivan would leave him alone.

 

“Did you get them both?” a second voice coming from the doorway.

 

“Antok”, Keith heard Kolivan say the Sub-Leader’s name. “The hatchling is in their true form. And  _ please _ tell Angh to stop destroying  _ my _ base!”

 

Keith could hear Antok chuff. Suddenly, the situation felt much,  _ much _ less terrifying to him. It wasn’t the Empire who attacked the headquarters, just one very panicking Draconian Progenitor at the size of a Doombringer. Keith coughed, his throat hurt after crying, but he chuckled anyway.

 

“Oh, you’re laughing already?” Kolivan’s voice had a teasing tone to it. Keith felt heat creeping up his face, but didn’t say anything. He nuzzled into the crook of Kolivan’s neck instead.

 

Both of them were still floating up like that for what felt like a very long time. Kolivan was still holding Keith close to his chest, rumbling a deep purr that eventually lulled Keith to sleep. Keith didn’t know how long he was out, but when he woke up, he was no longer floating. There were murmurs of conversation, but nothing that Keith could understand.

 

He also felt the familiar sensation of being groomed.

 

It felt like a very long time since the last time Thace groomed him. The smell tipped him off right away that it wasn’t Thace right there with him, but someone else. It didn’t take long until he realized that it was Kolivan.

 

That was so weird… Why would Kolivan groom him?

 

Yawning, Keith opened his eyes and noticed that he was in the Main Hall. Kolivan was sitting down on the steps, with Keith leaned into his side. After rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Keith noticed that his hand was bandaged.

 

_ Oh _ . Right, he sliced his palm on Chahru’s spike.

 

A few Blade agents and pilots were surrounding them in a tight circle. The glow from their masks made Keith fee safer. The red alert had passed, the Empire hadn’t attacked them. Zarkon wasn’t going to come to their doorstep, at least not now.

 

“H’lo”, Keith muttered, bowing his head slightly at the Blades. He could hear a few of them chuckling and making trilling noises.

 

“Go back to sleep, my boy”, Keith heard Kolivan’s voice chuffing. He tried to look up to meet Kolivan’s eyes, but instead got stuck letting out a wide yawn. He was really tired, now that he wasn’t in what felt like a near death situation.

 

Keith hummed and closed his eyes again.

 

\--

 

His dream was weird.

 

It felt like he was floating on a burning planet; and for a moment, he freaked out, thinking that he was still back in the headquarters and the artificial gravity was out from the attack. But he didn’t recognize the burning planet… or at least, he felt like he didn’t recognize it. His dream self floated above the molten surface.

 

Then he felt… something, like a song calling to him, pulling him.

 

The dream ended so abruptly. Keith blinked to the ceiling, but it was… weird. He didn’t recognize this room. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to sit up before he noticed three glowy circles floating in one dark corner. He squeaked and hid himself under the blankets.

 

He slowly peeked through the folds and realized that it was only Antok’s mask.

 

“At ease”, Antok chuckled. “Kolivan asked me to keep you company until they return.”

 

Keith blinked. Looking around him, he finally realized that he was inside Kolivan’s bedroom. Huh… no wonder he didn’t recognize it. He’d never been in this room before. Now that he knew it was Kolivan’s bedroom, Keith could definitely smell their scent lingering in the air.

 

Kolivan’s room was sparsely decorated, unlike Thace and Ulaz’ room. There was a stack of sheaves and some ancient looking books on the desk, along with shiny trinkets that were too small for Keith to see from this distance. A lamp made out of wires illuminated the room in pale blue light.

 

Keith yawned and flopped back to the bed. At some point, he had to have drifted off again, for when he opened his eyes, he saw Kolivan talking with Antok in low voices, Kolivan’s back facing him. It was weird seeing Kolivan out of their armor. And in comfortable sleepwear with their hair unbraided too. 

 

“Hello, little blade.” It was Antok who addressed him first. Kolivan turned their head and smiled brightly at Keith.

 

“How are you feeling, my boy?”

 

“I feel like I slept a lot”, Keith replied with a mumble, still cocooned in his blankets.

 

The adults talked for a few more ticks before Antok excused himself. Only then did Kolivan fully turn to face Keith.

 

“You’ve slept for almost two  _ dral _ now. Do you remember what happened?” Kolivan asked, their fingers gently smoothing through Keith’s hair.

 

“There was a red alert”, Keith replied. “Is Chahru okay?”

 

“They are. Chief Angh is taking them back to Dragonhome Nebula to recuperate”, Kolivan told him. “Your friends told me what happened. It was very brave of you— all of you —to help a friend in such a dangerous situation.”

 

Kolivan’s voice was gentle, but Keith sensed a reprimand. He was correct when Kolivan hooked a finger under his chin. 

 

“However… Keith, next time you find out one of your friends is missing during a red alert,  _ please  _ tell one of the adults instead of rushing off on your own”, Kolivan said, worry clear in their face. “Okay?”

 

“Okay…” Keith bit his lips. “I promise.”

 

Kolivan ruffled his hair again, while Keith flopped next to them. Even though Kolivan said he slept for two  _ dral _ , he still felt a little bit tired and sore— and hungry too, as Keith found when his stomach growled. Embarrassed, Keith snuggled back into his blanket cocoon. He could hear Kolivan laugh warmly.

 

“Let’s feed that beast in your belly, shall we?” they said, before walking away from the bed.

 

There had to be a food synthesizer in Kolivan’s room, because it didn’t take long until they came back, bringing a tray of food that smelled  _ really _ good. Keith poked his head out of the blankets curiously as Kolivan handed him the tray.

 

There was a bowl of yellowish broth and a plate of fried meat and fish, cut into bite-sized cubes and topped with brown meat sauce. Keith licked his lips and grinned at Kolivan, before grabbing the bowl first. It was warm in his hands and when he sipped it, the broth was rich in sweet-savory taste.

 

“You need to eat plenty when you’re going through puberty”, Kolivan told him. Keith paused eating, looking up at Kolivan.

 

“What’s puberty?” he asked

 

Kolivan blinked, looking confused. “Did your teachers--” he paused. “Right, you were taught by the Maestro.”

 

Keith didn’t know what was wrong with the Maestro’s teaching, but he thought so far he had no problem with his education. The Maestro were nice to him and they never scolded him for asking so many questions; they even encouraged him to ask more, to read more, to stay curious.

 

“Keith. Biological beings, like us Galra and Humans… we all go through certain steps from childhood to adulthood, one of those steps is called puberty”, Kolivan said. “During this time, you will go through growth spurts and your brain will change quite a bit. The Maestro probably neglected to tell you this since… well, they are mechanical beings. They don’t go through puberty like us.”

 

“How can you tell that I’m… going through puberty?”

Instead of answering, Kolivan pointed at—  _ oh _ . Keith looked down where his own wrists were poking out of the sleeve of his sweater.

 

Now that Kolivan pointed it out, Keith realized that his clothes and shoes felt a little bit too tight for him, even though some of them were still pretty newly adjusted. Keith was still staring at his hands, until Kolivan gave his hair a ruffle again.

 

“I will tell Maestro Sabi to load some books about Galran puberty into your sheave so you can read up on it”, Kolivan said with a sad smile, which confused Keith.

 

Why would Kolivan be sad? So Keith was growing up, wasn’t that a good thing?

 

Once Keith was done eating, Kolivan took him to the Medbay to have his clothes measurements and meal card adjusted. Now, Keith was wearing a set of newly adjusted clothes and shoes that actually fit him, while munching on a sweet food cube. 

 

Matron Marroi explained to him that the cube was a supplementary food he had to take at least three times a day. The supplements would possibly make him appear more Galra, since the nutritions in it were essential to his Galran side. It was unknown how Galran he would look like once he stopped having his growth spurts, but it was probably nothing too drastic save for some minor cosmetic change.

 

Keith had never been so disappointed hearing that, but well… his life seemed to consist of disappointment after disappointment. 

 

The Archive was empty except for both of them and Maestro Sabi, who was checking on the databanks to see if there’d been any damage to the system. It was still pretty early and everyone else was probably still recovering from the red alert.

 

Keith sat across from Kolivan, whose attention was on the screens in front of them. There was a file transfer progress from the Archive databank to Keith’s sheave. Across the table were several wire-flowers that Kolivan had created while they were working.

 

Kolivan was making yet another wire-flower right then. Keith watched the way Kolivan’s fingers twisted and bent the wires into shape mindlessly even as their eyes were glued to the screen. Keith wondered where Kolivan learned to make the wire-flowers, but didn’t want to disturb them.

 

It still felt weird somehow, sitting right across to Kolivan, when Keith had been avoiding them for so long. He didn’t even remember why he’d been angry at Kolivan in the first place.

 

A few  _ vargas _ later, Antok arrived in full armor and mask as usual. Keith made a show of turning off his translator before resuming his munching, his legs swinging back and forth. The adults left him alone as they talked in an unfamiliar language that he never heard before. It didn’t sound Galra-Standard, but he still could recognize familiar names; Supplymaster Varkel, Chief Birama, Chief Angh, Head Engineer Kalios.

 

Bored, Keith eventually pulled out a spare sheave. It recognized his ID and showed him whatever reading materials he already had access to. Pulling out a book about stars and galaxies, he began to read.

 

Time passed quickly while he read, people came to see Kolivan every now and then, business was conducted, and then they’d leave. After Antok, it was Maestro Nui, whose arrival was signaled by the soothing ticking of its internal clockwork. Keith couldn’t overhear their conversation because apparently, Maestro Nui chose to converse with Kolivan through telepathic link.

 

After Maestro Nui, it was Kalios who arrived in the Archive covered in soot and grease. Maestro Sabi made a perfect imitation of a tutting noise as he entered, but Kalios simply shrugged before approaching Kolivan. Both of them spoke in Anur Arta, a language he was more familiar with. Keith vaguely caught something about the particle barrier.

 

Worry began to stir in him as both adults kept repeating the word over and over. Keith remembered Kolivan telling him that the particle barrier on the headquarters was stronger than Empirium-standard, but was it strong enough to hold off against an enraged Draconian Progenitor? Would the particle barrier break? What would happen to their home then?

 

“What’s wrong with the particle barrier?” Keith asked Kolivan once Kalios left.

 

“You speak Anur Arta?” Kolivan sounded surprised.

 

“A little bit”, Keith shrugged.

 

Truthfully, he’d overheard Kalios and Varkel argue in Anur Arta  _ a lot  _ when doing his duties. He’d gotten curious from time to time and looked up what the words meant. Sometimes it was a string of highly creative swearing. Other times it was actual technical terms like the particle barrier or the antigrav trolley.

 

Kolivan regarded him silently, but they didn’t look angry. Instead, they smirked lopsidedly. It was an odd expression to see in Kolivan’s face, Keith thought.

 

“Sneaky little gremlin, have you been eavesdropping the whole time?” Kolivan reached over the table to ruffle Keith’s hair liked they had earlier.

 

“Not my fault Varkel and Kalios love to bicker so much”, Keith retorted. “Pretty sure everyone in the hangar can hear them yell to each other.”

 

“Oh no”, Kolivan pulled a face between a grin and a grimace, ears pinned back. “Please don’t tell me you looked up on whatever they were saying.”

 

“I know at least fifteen ways to swear in Anur Arta”, Keith told him.

 

Kolivan’s grin vanished and they rubbed their face. “ _ Okay _ . At least, don’t show off that particular skill in front of Thace or Ulaz. Please.”

 

Keith couldn’t promise anything, but Kolivan didn’t need to know that.

 

Later, long after he’d been dismissed, Keith realized that Kolivan never actually answered his question about the particle barrier. Keith muffled his frustrated shout with his pillow and cursed Kolivan’s name.

 

\--


	4. Strength In Endurance

Keith’s twelfth name-day passed without any celebration. Keith wasn’t sure if anyone actually remembered, and while he was a little bit disappointed, he knew that everyone else had more important things to attend to too. It wasn’t like he could bother Kolivan with it, anyway.

 

As the days after it passed, his routine seemed to blur together, but Keith didn’t really mind.. It felt somewhat comforting to not feel anything awful. Instead, he felt almost...floaty. When he felt like floating like this, he didn’t have to feel worried about how Thace or Ulaz were doing, if they were okay or not.

 

It was… safe.

 

He felt safe like this. 

 

His routine of course, changed; Kolivan decided to pull Keith off from transport duties and take Keith’s lessons from the Maestro. They taught Keith about the inner workings of the Blade of Marmora headquarters now, which mostly consisted about supplies and logistics. It didn’t do much to disrupt the floating feeling though. After all, it was just another routine to follow.

 

Of course, Keith already knew everyone important in the Headquarters, thanks to his transport duties. Sometimes he just had to read through non-classified files while Kolivan was doing their own paperworks. On rare occasion, Kolivan even let Keith sit through the report duties.

 

The lessons themselves weren’t that hard, but it was pretty boring. Keith regretted everything he’d said about the transport duties being boring, because right now, he’d take transport duties over reading about repair works or the latest tech projects being worked on by the Headquarter’s engineers.

 

The Blade of Marmora employed several designers and engineers in their tech department; which included all ten functional Maestro of Axocarium, a group of rogue Olkarian engineers, and a reclusive genius Bytor named Slav. All of them were tasked with inventing and building new technologies that weren’t Empirium-standard to hide and protect the communication outposts and hideouts from the Empire.

 

Unlike the Headquarters, the outposts and the hideouts were constantly moving to prevent them being tracked or spotted by the Empire scouts. The Headquarters kept track of each of their coordinates and the only person in the entire organization who knew these coordinates, let alone the existence of them, was Kolivan. Even so, Kolivan couldn’t predict where those outposts and the hideouts would be between coordinate transmission.

 

When Keith wasn’t learning about the Blade operations as a whole, he was helping Kolivan sort out the reports by sections, dates, and urgency levels. All the files were encrypted though, and Keith didn’t have the clearance to access them, so he could only guess what said files were about.

 

Sometimes, he wondered if there were reports from Thace or Ulaz buried somewhere in the mix. Kolivan never gave any indication that there were and Keith never asked.

 

Although some days could be kind of enjoyable, Keith just didn’t understand why Kolivan bothered to personally teach him so much. In fact, Keith didn’t understand Kolivan  _ at all _ . Sometimes, Keith would catch Kolivan watching over him with a weird look on their face. Other times, Kolivan would fuss over him and tell him he needed to eat more, or sleep more, or drink another water pouch.

 

This new attention was confusing and frustrating, but Keith just didn’t know  _ how _ to bring it up without making it sound weird. So Kolivan cared about him, but  _ why? _ They weren’t Keith’s family like Thace was. 

 

The way Keith saw it, Kolivan had no responsibility actual over him, aside from the fact that they were the Leader of the Blade of Marmora and Keith just happened to be one of the war orphans who lived in their Headquarters. Even so, Keith didn’t notice Kolivan paying the same attention to the other orphans.

 

Obviously, Keith wasn’t the only one who noticed this. Sometimes he caught the other younglings at the physical exercise session murmuring behind his back— Dartok, Rani, and Nuala in particular really needed to find a new hobby that didn’t involve  _ him _ .

 

He still chose against speaking to them after the whole red alert thing and was still avoiding them altogether. He could understand if they were angry at him for getting their friend injured during the red alert, but  _ by the stars _ , he was angry at himself too,  _ okay _ .

 

Worse still, everything that happened during the red alert happened too fast and now Chahru was gone before Keith could apologize to them. He thought about asking Kolivan if he could send a transmission to Chahru, but he didn’t know if it was even possible. Dragonhome Nebula was pretty far from the headquarters, after all.

 

And because of that, Keith couldn’t do anything about both his lack of apology to Chahru and the unwanted attention he was getting from his peers.

 

He did his best to ignore the glaring or the constant murmuring that followed him during the physical exercise sessions, but it was… hard. It took everything in him not to either punch one of them in the face, or yell at them to  _ stop staring at him _ . He was actually surprising himself with this newfound self-control.

 

Eventually, he stopped attending the physical exercise session altogether.

 

In a way, it felt like choosing the lesser of two evils because now he was more or less stuck helping with Kolivan’s routine. His only consolation was,  _ at least _ , Kolivan’s attention on him had no ill-meaning. Plus, what Keith was doing with Kolivan was important. He was, at least, contributing more to the Blade of Marmora.

 

After a few  _ dral _ , Keith noticed a few odd things about the way Kolivan and Antok functioned. Well, okay, maybe they weren’t really  _ odd _ — but their interactions around each other was definitely something that he never noticed before. 

 

First of all, Sub-Leader Antok would often be there while Keith was having his lessons, mostly reading or doing his own thing. Keith also found it strange that for someone so big, Antok could move  _ so _ soundlessly that Keith swore the taller Galra was doing it just to freak him out. This idea wasn’t actually all that baseless. Sometimes, Keith would yelp in surprise when he caught Antok’s mask in his peripheral vision and Antok would let out an amused chuff.

 

Seeing Kolivan with Antok was weird too, mostly in the ways both of them interacted with each other. Both of them always arrived before Keith did and ate together during meal breaks. Both of them also always seemed to know what the other needed before they could say it out loud.

 

It was… weird.

 

They reminded Keith  _ a lot _ of Thace and Ulaz, in a way— and it hurt.

 

Sometimes, Keith wondered how his life would look if Thace and Ulaz were there instead of these two familiar strangers. He wondered if Ulaz would be the one to tell him about the whole puberty thing, instead of the texts saved in his sheave.

 

Oh, and Keith read the books Kolivan gave him alright. They were… actually pretty insightful. One of the books adequately explained the aches of his body, which mostly disappeared once he started taking his supplements. There was nothing mentioned about confusion or floating-feelings though, which made Keith wonder if it was really connected to his puberty or not.

 

Another book explained the difference between Galra primary and secondary genders, which a subject Keith already pretty much knew knew from his lessons with Thace growing up. The book was more detailed than Thace’s explanations, but he had no doubt that Ulaz could explain it even better than the books.

 

There were the primary genders and the secondary genders—although in Galra society, the primary genders were less important than the secondary genders. The primary genders referred to only sexual organs, while the secondary genders referred to the role one would have in society.

 

The primary genders were Valaki, Varam, Vaiva, and Vartua— male, female, intersex, and neither. Keith wasn’t sure what his primary gender was, since his organs didn’t match anything described in the books, so instead of guessing further, he filed it under his ‘ _ Things to ask to Ulaz when he’s back home _ ’ list and decided not to worry about it.

 

As far as secondary gender, he still wasn’t presenting with one— that is, if he could present  _ at all _ . His human traits made the question of presentation a hard one to answer and it was honestly the “puberty-related” thing he worried the most about.

 

There were three main secondary genders: Hralkar, Vehran, and Jlatsi—also known as the warriors or protectors, the leaders or guides, and the nurturers. Some Galra apparently could have two or more secondary genders and it just… it didn’t make sense to Keith.

 

How could you be both or neither? How could you be  _ all? _

 

Keith supposed he could always ask Matron Marroi or one of the medics… but he wasn’t so sure how. Galran genders were complicated and a very sensitive topic. According to the book, it was a matter of personal pride. He didn’t want to accidentally offend someone just because his half-breed brain couldn’t comprehend the concept.

 

So Keith swallowed his confusion and went through his routine. He really wished Ulaz was there to answer his questions.

 

—

 

There was a celebration being held in the hangar to welcome four Blade agents.

 

The agents were supposed to go on a sabotage mission, but something went really  _ wrong  _ halfway through. All of them were pretty badly injured when they fled from the Empire forces, but thankfully, no one died. They were already fully healed up from a stop at one of the outposts before coming back to the headquarters.

 

When Keith thought about it, the theme of the event was pretty morbid since it was pretty much a  _ ‘congratulations, you’re not dead _ ’ kind of party. But after losing so many agents and fighters, this kind of celebration was necessary to lift spirits and remind everyone to appreciate small mercies.

 

Some of the older younglings set up a stage on the mess hall where they showed off their musical abilities which created an odd mix between Galran traditional war-drums, Anuran string orchestra, and even some ancient-looking plasma instruments that somehow survived the Ninth Reformation Era. The performers painted had even their faces to look like the signature Blade of Marmora masks. Keith figured it was kind of cool, but also thought the glow from the paint was just as eerie as the light emanating from the plasma instruments.

 

There was food for everyone; and while alcoholic drinks weren’t  _ technically _ allowed in the headquarters, Keith guessed that was exactly what was inside some of the strange looking bottles on the long table. Even Kolivan themself was nursing one as they made rounds and chatted with everyone.

 

The party looked nice, but Keith didn’t know why Kolivan even bothered inviting him. He was probably the youngest person in the room and he already had mixed feelings about the whole thing. As he tucked himself into one of the corners to avoid accidentally getting trampled, Keith wondered if he would be glad to be there if the celebration was meant to welcome Thace home.

 

Unfortunately, Thace wasn’t there. And… that was a good thing, right? It meant Thace was still doing his spying work for the Blade of Marmora, that he hadn’t been found out. Even if something did happen to Thace, Kolivan would tell Keith about it…  _ right? _

 

Something ugly rolled inside Keith’s stomach at the thought. He frowned. Bitterly, he turned away, heading for the exit. Once away from the mess hall, Keith let himself wander almost aimlessly. It was still a few  _ vargas _ before curfew.

 

Eventually, he found himself back in his own room —or, should he say, Thace’s room. It  _ was _ still Thace’s room, even though the room no longer smelled like him. Actually, it hadn’t smelled like Thace in  _ ages _ and it… felt wrong.

 

Ever since Keith had started using the room more frequently, the room had felt wrong. His things were all over the place now, fitting in between Thace’s things like they’d always been there, no matter how hard he tried to keep the room just the way Thace had left it. 

 

There were also the very  _ rare _ times when Keith let himself wonder why he cared so much about someone who basically left him all by himself. The thoughts were… scary. He always had to remind himself after them that Thace was really the only family he had left. He’d been and still was like a brother to Keith’s mother.

 

Yet … Thace wasn’t there when Keith needed him, when he’d been trapped in that red alert, or when he wanted to talk about puberty or the floating feelings.

 

Keith knew that it wasn’t exactly Thace’s fault. It wasn’t like Thace was the one who started the war or asked to be assigned to Prorok’s fleet. The war was entirely Zarkon’s doing, and while Kolivan was the one who sent Thace away, Keith  _ knew _ it wasn’t Kolivan’s fault either.

 

Of course knowing these things logically didn’t mean he was exempt from feeling angry with his situation. He wanted to hate Thace for leaving him, and he wanted to hate Kolivan for sending Thace away. The thoughts and anger scared him and he wanted to stop feeling like this, like the world had to cater to his needs.

 

What the Blade of Marmora, Kolivan, and Thace did was necessary to ending the war. What they all did was  _ important _ . Even if Keith still couldn’t accept how  _ unfair  _ the whole thing was, even if he was left feeling sad and miserable, it  _ still  _ had to be done.

 

Slumping against the door, Keith hugged his knees. He wanted to stop feeling horrible. He wanted to stop feeling  _ at all _ . He was just so…  _ tired _ . He wondered if he could fall asleep like this.

 

Then, his eyes caught on the holographic display next to the bed.

 

Out of all the kitschy things in Thace’s room, Keith always  _ hated _ that photo displayer the most. It showed a picture of Thace and Ulaz’ bonding day over more than fifteen  _ dralsa _ ago, but they weren’t the only people there. Kolivan was pictured too as the officiator, and so was Keith’s mother, there off to the side, standing next to Thace.

 

It was a picture of Keith’s family, except that  _ he _ wasn’t even there. He wasn’t born yet. And they all just looked so  _ happy _ . Without him.

 

It really hurt to look at the photo for more than a stray glance. There were times when Keith was  _ this  _ close to throwing it against the wall, before he remembered that it was Thace’s photo and it had been a gift from Ulaz. Even more so, if not for this one  _ damn _ picture, he wouldn’t even know what his mother looked like.

 

Keith whimpered, then hugged his knees tighter. He  _ really _ didn’t want his brain to go there right now. He didn’t want to think about how Thace or Ulaz were doing out there—or even his mother, if they were still alive at all.

 

The floating feeling returned, but thankfully didn’t last long. He was dimly aware of the knock on the door and Kolivan’s voice coming through the metal of it.

 

“Keith? Are you alright?”

 

_ No _ , Keith wanted to answer. He wasn’t feeling okay. He was feeling furious and he really didn’t want to see Kolivan’s face right now because he thought he was going to punch Kolivan in the face like he had to Rani, and it scared him.

 

Keith wanted to ignore Kolivan, pretend he was already asleep. It was tempting,but then he remembered that he still needed to face him tomorrow. Kolivan would either ask or leave it alone, leaving Keith to pretend nothing happened. Both scenarios seemed likely, but he didn’t want to chance it.

 

Better that he faced it now.

 

Slowly, he uncurled himself and stood up on his feet. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, and was instantly greeted by Kolivan’s concerned face.

 

This wasn’t the first time Keith thought about it, but  _ damn stars _ , Kolivan looked  _ old _ . There were worry lines and exhaustion marks marring most of their face— and for the briefest moment, Keith felt horrible for causing such trouble for them.

 

Keith didn’t deserve Kolivan’s worry. He was just another orphan, just another  _ half-breed  _ that Kolivan had to deal with. He was  _ not _ Kolivan’s family.

 

Averting his eyes, Keith was already regretting his choice facing Kolivan because right now, he didn’t know what to do or say.

 

“Keith, are you alright?” Kolivan repeated. Keith hadn’t even realized they’d said it once.

 

Keith shrugged. “Just tired. Sorry I left without telling you.”

 

_ Sorry I made you leave too _ , he wanted to say, but held himself back. That didn’t seem like a good thing to say when he was trying to avoid the topic of feelings.

 

He was also tempted to shut the door on Kolivan’s face, but that also didntn’t seem like a good idea. It was rude and Kolivan deserved more respect, so he waited for what felt like forever, for Kolivan to say something in response. Maybe they’d leave him to rest or bid him goodnight.

 

But like everything else in his life, nothing ever went the way he wanted it. Kolivan stayed.

 

“Keith…” Kolivan hesitated for a tick, which was weird. Maybe Keith was so used seeing Kolivan making swift decisions during their routines, that it felt weird to see them hesitating like this. “If there’s anything I can do to ease your pain, I’ll do it, But I won’t know what it is if you won’t tell me.”

 

Keith risked a glance and found concern softening Kolivan’s features.

 

Anger was a familiar emotion, often accompanied by frustration. It rose slowly but surely, and Keith was _really_ tempted to shut the door now. To scream and tell Kolivan to _go_ _away_. He didn’t want Kolivan’s pity, didn’t need it.

 

But Kolivan’s offer… that was another thing entirely, enough of another thing to make Keith pause.

 

“ _ Anything _ I want?” Keith tapped his fingers against the doorframe.

 

“Anything”, Kolivan replied, nodding firmly.

 

Keith’s stomach flipped with hope and excitement. He knew what he  _ wanted  _ to ask for, but he doubted that Kolivan would agree to that. On the other hand, Kolivan had to have considered  _ what _ Keith wanted to ask for, right?

 

So maybe, just maybe, Kolivan already considered that Keith wanted Thace to be brought home, or at least reassigned to one of the hideouts where Keith could live together with his guardian again.

 

“Please bring Thace home”, Keith said, before an ugly thought sneaked itself into his mind.

 

_ What if this is a test _ .

 

Maybe Kolivan was testing where Keith’s loyalty was; to help bring down Zarkon and the Empire, or to furthering his own personal goals.  _ Dear stars _ , he’d just chosen his own personal gain. What if he’d failed? Kolivan surely wouldn’t kick him out of the headquarters, right? This was his home. The Headquarters was all he’d ever known. 

 

Instead, Kolivan lifted Keith’s chin gently, so gently that it made Keith feel like crying. He felt bad for making Kolivan sad— and at the same time, he also  _ glad _ for making Kolivan sad. It was confusing and just made him feel worse. 

 

“If that is what you want, then I’ll do it for you”, Kolivan said, voice soft. “During our next transmission, I’ll order Thace to drop his mission and come back home.”

 

Keith looked away again, guiltily biting his lips. He wanted to trust Kolivan, but he didn’t know what to do. Thace dropping his mission would be great, but it would also cost the Blade of Marmora five  _ dralsa _ of undercover work, at the very least.

 

And yet, Kolivan seemed sincere about calling Thace off the mission, about letting all that hard work go up in flames, and it was all because Keith  _ asked _ them to. Because Keith was awful and he wanted  _ his _ Thace back. 

 

“R-really…?” Keith hated the way his voice squeaked. It made him sound like a young kitten.

 

“ _ Really _ ”, Kolivan replied with the same firmness they used every day as the Leader of the Blade of Marmora. A second later, their voice faltered. “Is this… not… what you want?”

 

It  _ was _ what Keith wanted, probably more than the Universe itself. And Kolivan was handing it to him like it was  _ nothing _ . Keith still… couldn’t believe it. What reason did Kolivan have to worry about Keith’s feelings so much?

 

“I thought Thace’s mission was important”, Keith fiddled with his thumbs, still not wanting to meet Kolivan’s eyes. “Thace said so. Ulaz too.”

 

“It’s…” Kolivan sighed. “It  _ is _ important. It’s… complicated.”

 

“Well”, Keith snarled, feeling his anger boil up again. “Uncomplicate it, then.”

 

There was a moment of silence that made Keith feel itchy all over his body. He could, for once, hear the rumbling of the various pieces of machinery around the base, a background noise that he wouldn’t have normally noticed but was now filling the silence, loud almost to the point of being unbearable.

 

“You are hurting”, Kolivan said, eventually. “It hurts me to see you hurting. It’s— You’re— I, I caused it. I apologize, Keith.”

 

Keith… hadn’t been expecting that. Finally, he looked up to look Kolivan in the eyes, blinking in confusion.

 

“Why?” he asked.

 

“For sending your mother away”, Kolivan bowed their head. “For not stopping Thace from pulling you out of the education classes. For sending Thace away, and Ulaz after him. For not doing more to take care of you.”

 

That wasn’t— Those things were  _ not  _ Kolivan’s fault! Keith opened his mouth, but Kolivan raised a hand to stop him. They weren’t done yet, apparently.

 

“When Thace and Ulaz left, I should’ve taken you into my care, but I didn’t. Now I see you hurting and you’re trying to deal with it by yourself”, Kolivan continued. “It’s… That kind of burden, it’s not something I’d wish to anyone. Especially not someone as young as you are ... the fact remains that you are hurting, and it’s all my fault.”

 

Keith blinked, slowly, before his vision started blurring. Tears— there were tears welling up in his eyes, slowly dripping down his cheeks. 

 

He didn’t know why he’d started crying. He didn’t really understand his feelings well sometimes, but what Kolivan said didn’t make any sense at all! Kolivan hadn’t done anything wrong, but then… why did their words feel like hitting a mark inside him? Why did it hurt so bad?

 

“This war hurts all of us and sometimes the best we can do is to endure it. I know that you are very strong, my boy, but… you don’t  _ have _ to endure this by yourself”, Kolivan gently held Keith’s hands. “Please,  _ please _ , give me a chance to help you.”

 

Keith wanted to pull away, he also wanted to pull Kolivan into a hug. He wanted his conflicting emotions to  _ stop _ .

 

“… Why, though?” Keith asked, hesitating. He still didn’t understand. Why would Kolivan care so much about him? What was so special about him? He was just another half-Galra in the Headquarters, just another orphan. He wasn’t the only one who didn’t have a parent or a home-planet. There were many like him.

 

“Well…” Kolivan hesitated, their ears pinned back. They opened his mouth before closing it. Keith waited patiently, his own fingers still holding onto Kolivan’s larger ones. Tentatively, he rubbed circles to Kolivan’s hands.

 

“What do you know about familial bonds?” Kolivan finally asked.

 

Keith wiped his tears away, blinking in confusion.

 

“It’s what makes a Galra, Galra”, he replied.

 

At least, that was the shortest explanation. From the books he read and from Thace, he knew that familial bonds were the most important thing in Galra society. Familial bonds were what formed a Galran family. It was the deepest emotional connection that made a Galra whole.

 

A Galra without a single familial bond was a broken Galra, an outcast, and it was… a very terrible thing to happen to someone.

 

Blood relation wasn’t required for a familial bond. Thace and Keith’s mother, Vanor, were family but they weren’t related by blood. Both of them just happened to be very,  _ very _ close friends, brothers-in-arms turned bond-brothers. As Vanor’s son, Keith became Thace’s family by relation and Ulaz’ family too, through Thace.

 

Still, Keith didn’t understand why Kolivan had brought it up.

 

“I— When your mother left, when you were just a mere newborn kit, they wanted Thace to raise you”, Kolivan hissed, their face pinched. They rubbed his face with their hand, before continuing. “But Thace wasn’t at the Headquarters back then. He wasn’t here at the Headquarters for three full  _ dralis _ . And I… had to take care of you.”

 

It took Keith a few  _ ticks _ to realize what it meant. But when he did, he stared at Kolivan, gaping. No… But that meant—?

 

“Wait—” Keith pulled away, taking a step back, then another. “You’re— No. There’s no way— You’re  _ joking! _ ”

 

“I’m not”, Kolivan said, calmly, and Keith wanted to punch them even more than before. How could they be so calm when dropping something— something so  _ life-changing? _ Kolivan  _ implied _ that they formed a familial bond as if it was nothing and they never said  _ anything _ to Keith about it!

 

When Kolivan reached a hand out to touch him, Keith growled. It was harsh and surprised both of them. Keith ignored the pained look on Kolivan’s face and the slight stab of guilt in his gut before he turned away, hands clutching at his own hair.

 

“Why—” Keith choked. Everything felt like much too much. He wanted to scream, he wanted to hurt Kolivan. He wanted to hide until everything stopped being an awful  _ mess _ .

 

Why hadn’t Kolivan said anything? Why hadn’t Kolivan raised Keith themself instead of handing their guardianship to Thace? Why did they choose to tell Keith all this  _ now? _

 

“Because it wasn’t right. You’re already Thace’s family”, Kolivan answered. They loomed by the bed for a moment before sitting down too, a good distance away from Keith as if unsure. “Your familial bond with him is by heritage. Your bond with me, however… it’s spontaneous. Some people might call it an  _ anomaly _ .”

 

Keith  _ still _ didn’t understand. None of the books explained anything close to a situation where someone was bonded to  _ two different families _ . Keith wanted to laugh and would have if it wasn’t so bizarre.

 

Of course the weird half-breed always ended up in the weirdest situations.

 

“Please leave”, he managed to choke up, hugging himself tight. He wanted to feel angry. He  _ was _ feeling angry. He didn’t know what to do anymore. His wants and needs and current state of being was twisted into more of a convoluted mess than before.

 

Kolivan’s hand hovered above Keith’s head briefly, but it never made contact. Keith bowed his head and wished for everything to be less confusing and overwhelming.

 

“I’m sorry…” Keith heard Kolivan say, voice faint. “I’ll leave you to rest now… but, if you need me for  _ anything _ , I don’t care how silly you might think it is, I will help you.”

 

Kolivan left the room quietly. Once they were gone, it was like the air followed and Keith was left with nothing and everything all at once. He collapsed to the bed and chose to pretend everything was just a dream.

 

\--


	5. Made of Star-Stuff

When Keith arrived for his routine the next  _ dral _ , it seemed like nothing really happened. Kolivan greeted him when he entered the Command Room as usual, smiled at him, and then began to list their schedule for that cycle.

 

_ Everything _ went normally. There was nothing on Kolivan’s unmasked face that indicated that their conversation the night before actually happened. It was like everything was just a bad dream that Keith somehow could remember clearly. If he wanted to be honest… it was a little bit unsettling.

 

But then Keith noticed the way Kolivan paused for a moment when their eyes met Keith’s. It was so brief that he wondered if he’d just imagined it, but then the moment passed and Kolivan continued as if nothing happened.

 

It was so frustrating.

Keith still didn’t know what to make of his bond with Kolivan. It was something that had always been there as far as he could remember, just like his bond with Thace. He’d never thought about it before. Now that he knew about it, everything seemed clearer than ever.

Kolivan had always been this… ever present figure in Keith’s life. Keith  thought it was because they were the Leader of the Blade of Marmora, always watching over all the younglings in the base, but not quite interfering with or participating in the actual parenting matters.

But looking back, there were moments— small moments that were often missing from conscious observation or waved off as something unimportant. Things like the way Kolivan seemed to  _ prioritize  _ Keith over than every other youngling in the base, like his entire being mattered  _ more _ .

 

At first, Keith didn’t want to assume it was something weird— because he  _ couldn’t  _ be that special,  _ right  _ —but then…

But then, Kolivan let Keith roam around, gave him access to the Archive, assigned him duties before he was really old enough to work, and let him skip attending the education classes. He even went as far to get five Maestro of Axocarium to take turns teaching Keith… which was very impressive considering how busy the Maestro actually were. Not to mention that Kolivan personally picked Keith for the red alert drill all those  _ dralsa _ ago and rescued Keith during the actual red alert themself.

And now that Keith had been following Kolivan’s routine, he  _ knew _ that Kolivan was only doing this all for him, not everyone else. Just  _ him _ .

Because Keith, in fact, was Kolivan’s _ family _ .

Maybe that was the reason why Kolivan’s presence felt so similar to Thace’s— not exactly the same, but  _ familiar  _ in a way that Keith couldn’t describe. Despite all Keith’s conflicts with them, Kolivan somehow always had this calm and comforting presence around them. Like the force of gravity.

Though, just like the presence of gravity, Keith had hardly noticed Kolivan’s presence even though they were always there, making him feel safe, keeping him grounded but also ready to catch him before he drifted away.

Keith wondered if that part was because of their familial bond.

His musings and thoughts on the subject had been the sole focus of his mind since the night of the fight. Even now, sitting with Kolivan, while both of them read in completely awkward silence. He hadn’t really been paying attention to his sheave until he noticed that their usual third person was nowhere to be seen. 

“Where’s Sub-Leader Antok?” Keith looked up at Kolivan, who flinched as if they’d been zapped. Keith hadn’t expected this kind of reaction and bit his lips.

 

“He’s out on a mission”, Kolivan replied, their tone neutral, before going back to their sheave.

 

Keith frowned.

 

Kolivan and Antok seemed almost inseparable. Usually both of them would go on a mission together and leave the command to the headquarters to Chief Angh or Maestro Feo. So it was pretty weird, in Keith’s opinion, that Antok would go on a mission while Kolivan stayed behind.

 

Keith didn’t know how to bring it up, though, so he bowed his head and tried to refocus on his own reading material. He managed to get one in sentence before Kolivan spoke up again.

 

“I didn’t want to leave you alone”, Kolivan said. Keith cautiously turned his head up and found Kolivan lowering their sheave to the table.

 

“I’m used to it”, Keith shrugged, trying to look nonchalant even though he began to feel anger slowly rising in his chest once again.

 

Reading didn’t seem to be working as a distraction from all the bad stuff swirling in his head, especially not when he was reading the most boring texts about medical supplies. Keith was tempted to look up something more interesting, it wasn’t like Kolivan would be quizzing him about the texts anyway.

 

When he heard Kolivan take another deep breath, Keith braced himself for whatever the older Galra wanted to say. It wasn’t like Kolivan could say anything that would be more world-shattering than their admission of the familial bond. It didn’t seem to be working though, so he quietly waited.

 

“You shouldn’t be”, Kolivan said weakly. “Shouldn’t be used to it, I mean. You shouldn’t be used to being alone.”

 

Keith jabbed his finger into the screen with more force than absolutely necessary. Was Kolivan really serious right now?

 

“Well, I didn’t wanna be alone either, but that wasn’t really my decision was it?” he snarled, before remembering that he was on a duty right now and he’d just spoken out of turn to the Leader of the Blade of Marmora. Eyes widening, he quickly stuttered out an apology. “F-forgive—”

 

“No, none of that”, Kolivan quickly cut him off, their hand hovering as if wanting to reach out, wanting to reassure Keith through touch, but still hesitating. Unsure.

 

“You’re  _ allowed _ to call me out, Keith, and you’re right. I should’ve done something to keep you from being alone, but… to be honest, I didn’t really know  _ what _ to do”, Kolivan bowed their head.

 

“You could probably have told me about the bond way earlier than you did”, Keith muttered, hoping that Kolivan wouldn’t hear it. No such luck though.

 

“… I probably should have.”, Kolivan admitted, ears drooped sadly. Keith had to admit, it was quite unusual to see Kolivan be so expressive.

 

There was an awkward pause then that made Keith feel itchy. Kolivan’s discomfort was so clear it was annoying. He tried to skim over his reading material, but none of the words seemed to stick. With a sigh, he finally shut off his sheave and looked up to meet Kolivan’s eyes.

 

“I’m still mad at you”, Keith tells them. “But… at the same time, I know I won’t stay mad at you forever. I— I think I just need time, you know?”

 

“I understand”, Kolivan nodded. “I’ll give you time as long as you need. But please know that if you need me, I’ll be there to assist you.”

 

Keith nodded, pleased. The rest of their morning went on, awkward silence filling in the space between them.

 

—

 

Before the afternoon meal break, Kolivan sent Keith away from the Command Room, since they needed to accept a transmission. Keith simply shrugged and went to the mess hall, carrying his sheave with him. The mess hall was mostly empty, save for a couple technicians that Keith knew were working in the engine room.

 

After getting his food (some meaty broth with a large chunk of bone marrow), Keith took a seat away from them and began eating while observing the room. He hissed when his eyes fell to Nuala, who was sitting across the room with her guardians next to her. Rani and Dartok weren’t with her, thankfully, but still Keith was half-tempted to hide.

Before he could do that, one of her guardians pointed to his direction, voice too low for his translator to pick up. Nuala’s face steeled up, but she slowly trotted up to him and sat down.

“I want to apologize”, Nuala said all of a sudden and that… was not what Keith expected.

“Okay”, he blinked, confused. He wasn’t expecting that.

“I can’t apologize on behalf Rani and Dartok, but I’m sorry for everything”, Nuala bowed her head.

“What do you want”, Keith snapped at her, glaring. While Nuala never directly teased him about him being a halfbreed, she never stopped her friends from teasing him either. Sometimes, she would laugh at their teasing too.

“Nothing— Just— Augh, what I did to you was awful,  _ okay _ . You didn’t deserve all that”, Nuala threw her arms above her head.

“I don’t have to forgive you, you know that, right?” Keith narrowed his eyes at her.

“I know. That’s fair, I guess”, Nuala looked dejected, rubbing her arm sadly. “I think you’re really awesome, Keith. I heard you saved Chahru during the red alert. That was really noble of you. Thanks for saving them, I guess.”

After saying that, she trotted back to her guardians, who looked just as confused as Keith felt.  

 

Keith finished his meal in silence, before going back to the Command Room, his palm against his forehead as he tried to process what just happened. This was yet another problem he didn’t need to focus on, but still confused the heck out of him.

 

He was angry at Nuala, yeah, but it wasn’t like he spent his time thinking about how to get back at her. Actually, he didn’t really care that much about her and her silly little group, aside from the fact that he wanted them  _ away _ from his life. Which… he already had, now that he was studying under Kolivan’s guidance. 

 

When he arrived at the Command Room, Kolivan was already in their full uniform— robe and hood in place with their blade strapped to their side, although they were still unmasked. Their ears drooped when their eyes met and Keith felt something bad stir in his gut.

 

“You need to go, don’t you?” Keith felt his shoulders slump. He didn’t really need Kolivan’s confirmation. The full Blade armor and mask were enough on their own. Whatever transmission Kolivan received, it was probably something bad and Kolivan needed to be off the base to handle it.

 

Kolivan looked taken slightly aback but they quickly recovered.

 

“Yes, Antok was in trouble and I… Keith, I’m sorry—”

 

“I’ll be okay”, Keith straightened his back and stared at Kolivan, forcing a smile before continuing. “Please come home safe.”

 

When Kolivan smiled, they looked so relieved they seemed like they were  going to burst into tears. It didn’t happen, thankfully, because Keith didn’t know if he could handle a fully-grown Galra crying on him. In the end, Kolivan settled for a passing ruffle of his hair.

 

—

 

If Keith thought not having Thace with him was awful, not having Kolivan there in the base was pretty much  _ torture _ .

 

What was horrifying, Keith wasn’t all that unfamiliar with the feeling. It felt like he was being stretched thin and it  _ hurt _ . It hurt so much he wanted to cry and scream— and for a little while, he thought the pains were just more growing aches from his puberty. 

 

But when he woke up around midnight sweating and shaking, he could no longer deny that this was definitely  _ not _ growing aches.

 

No, it was bond-related and he  _ wanted _ Kolivan  _ now _ .

 

Now that Keith knew it was related to the bond, he knew it was his instincts telling him to seek out Kolivan. This had been in one of the texts he’d read about familial bonds, that Galra kittens would often seek out for their parents for comfort. The texts also said that this instinct would usually fade away once they hit puberty, but apparently that wasn’t the case for Keith.

 

That was something he had to set aside and focus on at a later date. What he really needed to handle right now was the pain of Kolivan’s absence. 

 

Kolivan wasn’t in the base right now, but Keith guessed that he could cope with that by using the same method he used to cope with Thace’s absence. When Thace left, Keith found sleeping in Thace’s room to be comforting because it smelled like Thace. Thace’s room didn’t smell like Thace anymore, but Kolivan’s room would still smell like Kolivan.

 

Keith hesitated slightly, not wanting to intrude on Kolivan’s private space. But when another sharp pain tore into him, he decided that they were family now, so… Kolivan wouldn’t mind… right?

 

Mind made up, Keith wrapped himself in his blanket before slipping off the bed. He braced himself for a moment before poking his head out of the door.

 

It was already past curfew, so the lights in the hallway were dimmed except for the glowy lines on the floor. The hall in front of Thace’s room was empty when he slithered out of the room. He rounded a corner and found a group of adults were sitting by the elevator, laughing and playing  _ b’tela _ cards. One of them spotted him and gestured for him to come closer.

 

Wrapping the blanket around him tighter, Keith backed away, but bumped into someone. He landed on his butt with an ‘ _ oomph _ ’, thankful that his blanket cushioned his fall.

 

“Keith?” the Old Marroi’s voice came. Keith looked up and saw Matron Marroi stood like an iron wall in front of him.

 

The old Head-Healer was a half Veloxian-Galra. Like Sub-Leader Antok, she also had a whip-like tail that came from her Veloxian heritage. Her bulky figure, bent with age, hid her strength well, and was currently clothed in comfortable nightwear that had nebulae pattern on it.

 

“What are you doing out of bed after curfew?” Old Marroi asked as she helped Keith up to his feet.

 

It would be so easy for Keith to lie, to tell her that he wasn’t feeling well. Then, she would fuss over him like usual and gently shove him to the medbay to rest. But words died in his mouth and instead, his answer came out completely different.

 

“I want Kolivan…” he whimpered as his mouth began to wobble, his eyes hot with tears. He tightened his hold to his blanket as if it was a particle barrier shielding him from all the bad stuff in the universe, head bowing as he refused to show his emotions to the old matron.

 

Old Marroi let out a tired sigh. Her hand hovered in Keith’s peripheral vision, not quite touching, just to tell him that it was there.

 

“Kolivan is not here, but I assume you want to go to their room?” Old Marroi asked.

 

Keith nodded.

 

“Want me to take you to their room?”

 

Another nod, this time Keith took Old Marroi’s hand. It wasn’t like he didn’t know where Kolivan’s room was, but right now it seemed nice to have someone to stay with him. Old Marroi’s hand was big— bigger than a Galra hand though it had the same number of fingers. Veloxians only had three fingers, unlike the Galra who had five.

 

Together, they walked to the elevator, past the adults who were playing games. Kolivan’s room was only one level above Thace’s room so he wasn’t worried about it taking them a long time to reach it.

 

“Antok’s Galran mother was my bond-sister”, Old Marroi said all of a sudden when they were inside the elevator. Keith looked up to the old Veloxian-Galra and gaped, which Old Marroi returned with a toothy smile. “I guess that makes you my family too.”

 

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why doesn’t  _ anyone ever _ say anything?” Keith felt his anger rising, though it was still not strong enough to overshadow the pain caused by the bond. Not yet, at least.

 

“I did not know about your bond”, Old Marroi admitted. “I suspected it for a long, long time, but Kolivan said nothing. Antok too.”

 

“Kolivan said the bond is an anomaly”, Keith stared down at his bare feet. “The books also said nothing about someone bonded to two families.”

 

Old Marroi was about to answer when the elevator reached the correct level and the door opened. Urging Keith out into the hallway, Old Marroi followed behind and they fell into an uncomfortable silence as they headed to Kolivan’s room. In this level, the hallway was completely empty, which was understandable since most of the higher ranked Blades were probably out on a mission.

 

When they reached the front of Kolivan’s door, Keith placed a tentative hand over the scanner pad. He probably shouldn’t be surprised when the door opened up for him— Kolivan  _ did _ tell him that their door would always be open for Keith a long time ago, but Keith didn’t expect that it also meant their private room.

 

The lights on Kolivan’s room hummed into life as Keith entered the room. Nothing seemed to change since the last time he was here, but Kolivan’s scent still hung in the air, clinging to every surface like food goo. Keith flopped to the bed and happily nested between the pillows, his own blanket still wrapping him like a cocoon. He felt like he could actually sleep like this.

 

“It seems you have not been weaned right.” Old Marroi’s voice pulled him back into reality. Keith raised his head sleepily, completely forgetting that he wasn’t alone.

 

“What is ‘weaning’?” he asked.

 

“Galra kittens are dependent to their bond-parents. The parents need to wean the kittens so they become more independent”, Old Marroi said as she approached the bed. “Thace has to have weaned you, but Kolivan has not. Not if he kept the bond a secret from you.”

 

With one hand, she cautiously ruffled Keith’s hair and Keith felt… a tingle. “Can you feel that?”

 

Confused, Keith nodded.

 

“Galra kittens normally cannot sense bond, but it will still affect their emotions and they will instinctively seek out their bond-parents. As they go through puberty, they will begin to sense the bond and make sense of the emotions that come with it”, Old Marroi explained. 

 

Keith knew this from the texts about bonding. He still couldn’t understand why she was explaining  all this. Before he could ask, Old Marroi resumed.

 

“The fact that you can sense the extended bond with me is good. It means your bond with Kolivan is strong”, she said.

 

“What about my bond with Thace?” Keith was fully awake now and sat cross legged on the bed. “The books don't say anything about being bonded to two different families… unless Thace and Kolivan are related somehow?”

 

Much to his surprise, Old Marroi barked out a laugh. Like this, her laughter sounded just like Sub-Leader Antok’s laugh and Keith wondered if all half-Veloxian Galra laughed like this or this was simply their ‘family’ thing.

 

“Zarkon's crest, no! That would be quite a twist”, she eventually answered. “Those books you read, they are written by the Galra who live in the Empire. In the Empire, they all live in a neat and orderly manner under Zarkon. There are no big families like there are out here.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that being bonded to multiple families is  _ normal?” _ Keith felt like he was going to burst into tears. 

 

“Of course! The Galra are hyper-social beings. In closed spaces, much like this, family bonds form easily. Multiple family packs become one big family”, Old Marroi said with a chuckle. “It does not matter if it's with Veloxian, Anuran, or Galra, the bond does not discriminate as we all are the same. The Empire does not want people to know this, as Zarkon views other beings as lesser beings.”

 

So what was happening to him… it was normal. For once in his life, he wasn't actually a  _ freak _ . But then…

 

“If it's normal, why didn't Kolivan tell me, then?” he asked, fingers gripping at his blanket. Did Kolivan regret forming a bond with half-Galra like him? No… that didn't sound like Kolivan. 

 

“Silly child grew up in the Empire. They still carry some views from the Empire”, Old Marroi shook her head and sighed. “I was born and raised here. So is my bond-sister and her boy. This has been the norm for generations.”

 

Keith was surprised to hear this. He always assumed that Kolivan was born and grew up here in the base just like everyone else he knew, since not only they were a Blade, they were the  _ Leader _ — but that wasn't true, was it? Thace was a Blade too and he was born in the Empire. 

 

There were still so many questions he wanted to ask, but then he yawned wide and felt really tired. 

 

“I will leave you to sleep then”, Old Marroi gave Keith's head a last pat. “Oh, before I go, are you feeling any pain?”

 

Keith blinked— he'd completely forgotten about the sharp pain he felt earlier, but now that Old Marroi said it… the pain was still there, but it was mostly dulled.

 

“Yeah. It's not that bad now though”, he nodded. “I think it's bond-related. Is, is it something bad?”

 

“Hm”, was all the old matron said, scratching her chin before continuing. “I do not mean to alarm you, but one of your bond-parents is probably hurting.”

 

“ _ What?! _ ” Keith sat upright again.

 

“Relax. You say it is not bad now, it means they are still alive. They are probably getting medical treatment”, Old Marroi said, before eventually leaving Keith alone.

 

It took Keith awhile to fall asleep, despite being surrounded by Kolivan's scent. When he finally shut his eyes, he could see two threads connecting to his core. 

 

The textbooks had never provided any visual reference, but he still knew deep down that these were his bonds to Kolivan and Thace. The threads were glowing bright like hot wires— they looked  _ beautiful _ .

 

Tentatively, he placed his hand on one of the threads— and that also felt weird because he could feel that his hand was  _ not _ actually touching anything —but still it thrummed under his fingers, sending two different emotions directly into his core. Confusion. Elation.

 

Keith could feel tears rolled down his cheek when he recognized the one at the end of the thread. 

 

_ Thace _ .

 

It felt… weird to be  _ this _ close to Thace after such a long,  _ long  _ time, yet they were not really  _ physically _ close. It seemed that Thace recognized him and Keith was just so  _ happy _ because Thace was happy too. The bond filled him with warmth and comfort and a golden glow in his core that made him feel like he would never be alone again— because he’d never been alone in the first place.

 

There was warmth blanketing him and it felt like Thace was hugging him again— and  _ stars _ , that was really weird because Thace was hugging him  _ telepathically _ through their bond. But as moments passed, Keith realized that the bond with Thace actually consisted of two— no,  _ three _ different threads and they all led to different people. One was leading to Thace and another one was cold and unresponsive.

 

But the last one— one of the threads on Keith’s bond with Thace, was Ulaz! The bond was faint, but it was there and Keith could feel Ulaz sending reassurance into their bond. It was just so like Ulaz and Keith felt like he could cry harder than he already was.

 

Thace and Ulaz were okay and they were happy to see him—  _ feel  _ him through the bond. Keith was so happy he wanted to do a happy dance, but he knew that this was all just in his head, not real. 

 

His attention turned to the second bond. This one consisted of a lot more threads intertwined together, more than Keith could count. A lot of those threads were faint. Only one thread in particular stood out.

 

This one was his bond with Kolivan.

 

But unlike Keith’s bond with Thace and Ulaz, this bond was quiet. Oh it was still glowing with life, unlike the unresponsive thread on his bond with Thace. But when Keith brushed on the threads, it didn’t thrum back to him— and suddenly, Keith remembered what had Old Marroi told him before she left.

 

One of his bond-parents was  _ hurting _ .

 

Injuries and death were risks the Blade of Marmora members had to face when they were out on missions. Knowledge or death. Victory or death. Those were their mottos. Keith  _ knew _ this— had  _ known _ it since Thace and Ulaz got assigned to their infiltration mission. It was probably a blessing that Keith couldn’t sense their bonds until now. He couldn’t imagine how it felt, seeking comfort through the bond only to find it unresponsive.

 

No— Keith didn’t have to imagine it, because it was happening  _ right now _ .

 

Kolivan was the Leader of the Blades. The missions they had to handle would be more dangerous, more difficult than any other Blade agents and fighters had to handle. Keith had seen the scar running across the right side of Kolivan’s face a thousand times— the size of it should tell anyone how terrifying it must have been when Kolivan got it. And that scar couldn’t be the only one… right?

 

The thought that he could’ve lost Kolivan scared him more than he could imagine.

 

Clutching the bond close to his core, Keith had so many things he wanted to say through the bond. He didn’t know if words could be conveyed through the bond, but the very least he could do was to  _ try _ .

 

Keith didn’t know if ‘ _ I’m sorry _ ’ would be appropriate. ‘ _ Hang in there _ ’ seemed redundant, since Keith could feel that Kolivan was very clearly hanging onto life at this moment. Kolivan was strong and they  _ would _ push through, they  _ had _ to— Keith couldn’t imagine a life in the Headquarters without Kolivan.

 

Couldn’t imagine  _ his _ life without Kolivan.

 

Eventually, he settled with ‘ _ come home safe _ ’, repeated over and over. The warmth radiating from his bond with Thace and Ulaz wrapped him like a blanket and their reassurances lulling him into a peaceful sleep.

 

—

 

Bonds were the most integral part of being a Galra.

 

For the longest time, Keith felt like he didn’t fit in anywhere. He might not have  _ sagittal crests _ , claws, fangs, or even yellow sclera like other Galra hybrids on the base, but he had the bonds. He’d had them long before he was even able to realize that they’d been there all along. He could sense them and interact with them just like any other Galra could.

 

It didn’t matter that he had pink skin or dull teeth or brain of a pre-warp species. At his core, he was as much a Galra as any Galra in the Headquarters, even the full-blooded ones. Galra blood ran in his veins and the bonds took root deep in his core.

 

This was enough for Keith and that fact was comforting

 

When Keith was readying himself for the cycle, his eyes caught on his own reflection in the mirror. It was unusual that he would stay  in front of the mirror longer than absolutely necessary, but there was something that caught his eyes on this particular morning that made him take pause.

 

His ears… Keith could’ve sworn his ears were rounded at the tips— or had they been slightly  _ pointy  _ all along? He usually kept them hidden under his black hair, but today they seemed to peek through the void-like strands.

 

Shrugging, Keith put on a sweater on top of his bodysuit and pulled on his boots.

 

Today, Kolivan would arrive after spending a full  _ dral _ healing in one of the outposts, thankfully alive, along with several Blade fighters. Just to be sure, Keith brushed an imaginary hand through the bond and it thrummed back at him, happy it felt more lively than usual. Once he was done getting dressed, he headed down to the hangar.

 

When Keith got there, an Arbalester-class ship smoothly sailed through the barrier and into the hangar. Once securely docked, the door popped open and Kolivan climbed out of the ship, followed by Antok.

 

Somehow, Keith managed to weave his way through the crowd and got to the front right at the moment Kolivan arrived at the bottom of the steps. Only then did Keith notice the slight limp in the way Kolivan stood, favoring their right side more than their left side. Next to them, Sub-Leader Antok hovered close,ready to catch Kolivan in case they could no longer hold themself upright.

 

They looked okay, though. Both of them were, and that was what mattered most to Keith.

 

More than that, Kolivan looked  _ happy _ to see him, but they still hovered awkwardly, as if still uncertain. Keith fixed that by throwing himself into Kolivan, hugging their waist while still mindful of their injuries. Then, he felt Kolivan tentatively placing a hand on his back and the other on the top of Keith’s head.

 

“You came home”, Keith was totally not sobbing into Kolivan’s robe as he hugged them tighter. In response, there was a small chuff above him that made Keith to look up.

 

“I had to”, Kolivan smiled at him. “You told me to.”

 

Choking back a sob, Keith was about to bury his face into Kolivan’s robe once again, but before he could, Kolivan bent down and pulled him into a proper hug. In that moment, Keith could feel something click into place and everything in the Universe suddenly felt  _ right _ .

 

_ Bonds work both ways _ , this was something that the books kept repeating and emphasizing. Perhaps it was true. Now that Keith acknowledged the bond, he just knew where he belonged.  _ This _ was where he belonged. Kolivan and Antok were his family, just as much as Thace and Ulaz.

 

Maybe he looked different from a full Galra, but that was okay. Everyone was a little bit different from everyone else, but just as Thace said all those years ago, they were all made of the same star-stuff.

 

Keith understood that now.

 

**— END —**

**Author's Note:**

> and that concludes [Made of Star-Stuff], but don't worry! keith and the galra dads will return on the next installments, [Ready to Set Sail] and [Only Through Love]
> 
> i don't know when i'll post the next installments, since i have several other projects to finish first: Sheith Big Bang, Aphelion Zine, and Allura Zine. [Ready to Set Sail] is all plotted out, but not yet written. don't worry tho, it's unlikely for me to abandon this series because we all need more galra dads in our life!
> 
> meanwhile, you can check [my tumblr](https://hello-my-stars.tumblr.com/) ❤
> 
> \--
> 
>  
> 
> **gift art based from this fic because this deserves a section on its own holy shit**
> 
>  
> 
> [art #1 by @13particle on twitter](https://twitter.com/13particle/status/856239755616452609)  
> [art #2 by @13particle on twitter](https://twitter.com/13particle/status/863483472182210564)


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